Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas aftermath

Christmas was a huge success. The Boy safely navigated my family and will be welcome back anytime. My family didn't embarrass me too bad. My overload of baking goodness turned out pretty good. All in all, a good day.

I am now still lounging in bed while The Boy is working a half day. This afternoon will probably find us at the movies or out shopping for more food to make. The only bittersweet part of all of this is that in less than a week he will be gone again. No need to dwell on the bad parts, just try to enjoy the good parts.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Santa came early and he's The Boy!!

Well my parents came over last night and we went ahead and did Christmas presents since we will all be traveling today and tomorrow. No need lugging presents all over Texas.

The Boy and I originally weren't going to open up presents with them but I felt kinda bad that I had my usual brat pile and he had one. So I gave him one of mine to him to open. He wanted me to open up one and since there was only one under the tree for me I said no, we can wait and do that one on Christmas night when we get back home. He just said OK and I thought that was the end of it. NOPE!!

He walked down the hall and came back with a huge present!! I was in shock, he pulled one over on me. He said it was his brother's present in the box earlier.

Well being the good spoiled person I am, I opened up the big present first. (I have never learned to build up to the surpise). So in the big box was the MOST AMAZING, BESTEST PRESENT EVER!!! Oh I so love him!


It couldn't have come at a better time. I get to try it out and make pecan pies with it this morning. First, must get all the pesky Styrofoam off of it.

Monday, December 22, 2008

I LOVE Monday!

My normal Monday morning routine has me wanting to throw my alarm clock across the room when it goes off at 5:30. My cats usually run and hide from me in the mornings and I am cussing everything. It is safe to say I HATE Monday mornings and having to get to work for our 8am meetings.

This morning, I popped out of bed at 5:30, turned on CNN, got ready (full hair and makeup even!) and was smiling with not even one bad word crossing my lips. Well of course I was!! In 9 hours, I will see my boyfriend again!

I got almost everything done yesterday. I always forget one critical thing at the grocery store and yesterday was no exception. But, I realized it before I was in the middle of the recipe so that was a good thing. I will just need to go and pick it up tonight on the way home.

I am trying to survive work right now and I know that if I just put my head down and got busy that the time would pass fast but I can't seem to do that. I just keep thinking about tonight and getting the best present I could ever get from American Airlines. :)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Forgot cookies

OK, due to precious oven time and the fact that I really am not overly excited about cookies, this recipe over at Sugar Plum couldn't have been posted at a better time.

Chocolate Ganache & Peanut Butter Fudge-Topped Rice Crispy Treats. Oh, please Lord, give me strength not to eat them all myself in the middle of the night!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Like a moth to a flame

I'm REALLY liking this. It might have to be a new year's present to me.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Thought for the Day

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Fiesta Giveaway!

Now I usually don't do giveaways but this one just made me jump for joy!!! Fiestaware!!!! I have always adored the colors that they have and I swear I am going to fill the house with all of these colors one day! But until that time, I can at least try my luck. Head on over to Jaci's blog and sign on up too!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It's Done!!!!

Christmas shopping has been completed!!!!!!!!

All online this year. So now I just hope these last few presents show up in time.

Just gotta get cracking on the baking and all will be right in my world. It is definitely starting to feel like Christmas around here.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What I have learned today

In watching the actions of people around me and in seeing how I respond, I am learning how NOT to act and treat people based on my responses to how others treat those around them.

1. Don't jump to conclusions.
2. Don't assume people know what you want...just ask.
3. Don't always think someone is out to screw you over.
4. Don't have a favorite punching bag, in fact, don't have one at all.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Finally feeling it

I put the tree up tonight (pictures coming). It finally got me in the spirit. I didn't even cuss when my both my clear lights and my red lights were out. I found some mutli-colored lights I bought a few years ago and went to town.

As I was putting up the lights and it reminded me of my grandma's tree. The ornaments all meaning something special, the tree making you smile when you pass it. It just makes me remember what I love about this time of year.

I was going to do a tree that had a color theme and was more "adult". But I think this year, I needed a tree of celebration and fun. Last year, was the first year in my new house and I was so wrapped up in my mood that I didn't even put up a tree. This year, I wanted a tree about who I am and not what I feel like I should be.


I love my tree. I love the Pokey Little Puppy ornament that is from one of my favorite books, I have my Camaro ornament that is for my first car (thanks daddy!!). It has my Wonder Woman cape on it from my childhood hero and what I remember when I am having a bad day.

It has my cat ornaments that I got for my cats Annie and the namesake of my blog, Buster. The first house ornament and a few other special ones. I am looking forward to going to Hallmark this weekend to get a new one.


I could end it all

Well my Final Exam has posted. This means I can take it whenever I want between now and the deadline on the 14th. I have the control to end the anxiety and the worry and just get it over with.

I am conflicted on when to take this thing. I mean, I know the material and I have access to my resources during the exam but I want to make sure I am in the right mindset.

I think I will spend tonight doing a little baking with Chrys and then put up my tree later tonight or tomorrow and then focus on this thing later in the week. I am actually off work this weekend so maybe I will take it on Saturday when I can spend the day relaxed and treat myself after it is said and done.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Cheer Up

Nothing cheers me up quite like ruining the curve in class!! Unit exam down, just the "group" project and the final left to go.

Speaking of group project....I am proud of myself that I didn't type an email in anger and send it on to my group members in response to their emails saying the paper looked good but STILL not giving any feedback or input into the project. I mean, one guy submitted 4 sentences in response to the Issues. And the other guy used Wikipedia answers or Google definitions to fill in the IRAC. Even then he wasn't original. He freaking used the same statement no less than 5 times in half a page of work. Yes, it was ALL he used. That is what I had to start this thing. When I sent them my first draft with strategically placed highlights of info and parts they could give me, they sent it back saying great job, looks good. I wouldn't change a think. Really, so I should turn it in with the highlights? I did ask one guy for input again and he said sure, let me look at it and I will get back to you. Not a peep since.

But I am proud of my work. I am proud I tackled a project meant for a group on my own. I did a damn good job and I will have the A to prove it. I just don't want these idiots to gain from my work. At least the instructor knows what is up.

Ok, soap box put up.

Friday, December 5, 2008

I am a Scrooge

Really, I feel like Scrooge right now. I am being rude at work because I am tired of the crap going on. I am really upset at my group in my class also. These two just trigger everything else to get to me.

The main thing is my "group" project. My group consists of two people and myself. They have missed deadlines, done work at a beginning undergrad level when they do work and I have ended up doing this whole project on my own. I was up till 3am this morning working on this project and I have a feeling I will be up that long tonight as well. No one is giving me any thing and they are ignoring my emails. I don't think they have realized that there will be a peer review on this one.

Work is just work....I really can't talk about it but it is getting very stressful. I am dreading going to our Christmas party and I really am trying to find a way out of it.

I think this weekend, I need to spend time with my friends, and maybe Saturday night, curl up on the couch and watch Scrooge to get out of this. :)

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Holiday Aftermath

The Thanksgiving Holiday was not forgiving to my weight-loss. Today was weigh in day and I had a four pound suprise. Oh well, I just get to stick very close to the plan this week.

I have spent my weekend alone and in the house. I have not left once since I got home from work on Wednesday. I was thinking how I should be grateful for the alone time. There is probably a very good chance that I will not have another Thanksgiving alone like this.  Today I am going to finish my office, take my exam, work on my group project that no one else in my group seems to be doing.  I also need to get the plan for the week laid out.  I am on the countdown till Christmas and The Boy's return!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Is it really here?

It hasn't hit me yet that I have 4 days off. I just can't grasp this concept of TIME OFF!!!

I need to clean the house and at least bake the cake tonight so I can ice it tomorrow. Thank goodness this year's get together is very small. Just the parental units and myself. The Boy is in Montreal with his family, my friends are all with their families and so I am with the immediate family only. It is just the way I want it. A favorite food dinner, football on the TV and naps. Nothing could be better. :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Christmas Gift Block

Well I figure the Christmas station is on the radio now, I am seeing the decorations, and I saw my first Lexus commercial tonight so it is time to start thinking about what to get everyone for Christmas.

Dad is done, Mom is easy, my cousins' kids will be fun and easy, friends are always booze and kitchen stuff, The Boy is a mystery. What am I gonna get him!!! Since we live apart now, it is harder to know what he needs. He loves sushi and making it but not sure if he would do that when I am not there. I found some really neat stuff on that front but it will probably collect dust at his apartment. He will get clothes thta I am sure, but there has to be something special too. I just have to make sure I keep myself in check. :)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Dear Google Reader,

Oh please stop updating! Your lovely green icon on my Google toolbar that alerts me to new blog postings is driving me crazy. I love my blog lists and I simply can not wait to read the newest posts. However, this is starting to interfere with my life! I really need to do some work today and earn my salary. You must stop showing green every five minutes. You and I both know I lack the willpower to wait until I get out of the office to read your enjoying musings. Please, I beg you, just a break during the day, at night I am all yours. Oops, there you go again, green...I am off to indulge! Maybe tomorrow we try again?

Lovingly yours,

D

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Some weeks I don't fee like working

I should REALLY be working today but I am just not in the mood. It isn't that I don't have a ton to do, but none of it has any firm deadlines so I am taking my time.

Instead of working and trying to do my best at my job, I decided to clean the Mac up, organize my bookmarks and my Google Reader feeds. Everything is so together now and organized. Too bad, my office looks like a bomb hit it.

So on Sunday, I chopped my hair off because I was bored with the long hair. I just felt frumpy and honestly, like a little kid. With the shorter style I feel a lot more confident. It also seriously cuts down on the time it takes in the morning. With the extra time, I can actually do my make up at the house and not at the office. Next step is to go shopping and get a few things for winter.

With the economy like it is, I just hate spending money on things that aren't a necessity. However, I don't want to go cheap on necessities just to save a little bit of money. I strongly believe that you spend the money on the basics because they last and never go out of style. Since I have a rare free weekend, I might venture out to start eyeing what I want.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Baby Steps

15 minutes will change your mood.

I found the timer my mom made me use when I was supposed to clean my room and procrastinated. She would set it and make me clean for X number of minutes. It was supposed to make me clean and keep cleaning when it went off. Or at least make me feel that there was a definite end to the large task in front of me.

So I set the timer for 15 minutes and set out to clean the kitchen. 15 minute done and it looks a little better. I will probably do a few more 15 minute sessions tonight. 4 will make an hour. :)

I do feel better doing that and feel like I am getting things done. I also want to plan next week and see if the second week is the charm. Another plus was that one of the big things weighing on my mind, resolved itself while I was cleaning. There is one stress lifted.

I am WEAK

I hate stress....I really, really do. Can't a girl catch a break!!!

The Boy left this week, that sucks and I am not adjusting as well as I hoped I would. I probably would adjust better if the other things were a little less in my life right now.

Work is crazy beyond crazy. I have a ton to finish up for a legal project I am working on, two employees who have been working with their heads up their butts for months on end and now all of their mistakes, wrong assumptions, and laziness is coming to light and I am having to correct the issues. The IT guy thinks it isn't his job to actually do IT and I have been doing all of that on top of everything else, he is a habitual liar and it is too the point where I don't even want him around any of our stuff so I just do it myself. Everyone is relying on me to pick up the slack and remember things for them and to be the go-to person. Well I dont' have time to be your brain....go find it yourself. I am working 13 hour days just to keep my head above water and even that isn't doing it.

The house is a complete disaster. How I keep my house is always a reflection on my mood and right now it is messy and depressing and overwhelming.

School, where I usually find my joy is just crap. I am still doing great but I have a group project to start and I haven't heard from ANYONE in my group. I am taking the lead in too many things right now that I wanted to see if anyone in my group would step up. After 2 weeks of no communication, I get my response. I just sent an email so let's see what comes of it. I just sent it and realized I probably should have CC:ed the instructor but oh well. I guess I will take my 2 quizzes and the exam today after work and then dive into the project as if I have no group and see what happens.

There is also another uncertainty weighing on me that I can not get over. I know the outcome is good and I have thought logically about it but the emotional side of me is just having issues which is causing the effect.

I know it will get better, it always does, but I have got to learn to be more proactive at coming out of these funks.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Becoming "single" again

No, we didn't break up. I am just going through the emotions before he leaves. Right now my self sufficient personality is coming back in force. As the days get closer to this minor, two year change in living arrangements, I am starting to get very worried. This in turn is making me get very defensive, in all honestly mean to him. I don't want to be, but I can't stop my reactions to things. I am sitting here and he might crack a joke that I normally would laugh at but I just look at him with that blank stare.

Another thing I am noticing is that I used to love to cook for him. It was normal for me to cook for both of us every day and look forward to it. Now, I don't want to cook. I want to do what I like to call the "Single snack". It is what I did when I lived alone and single. No real meal, just snacking. I want to cook for him but I don't feel like I have the energy.

I know this is a funk I need to get out of but I really hope it goes away before he does.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Stop giving me that look!

Why does everyone just assume that because The Boy is moving away that we are no longer going to be together? And when I say we are, they give me this look like I must be out of my mind. It is really starting to get old.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday night

Hehe...I am going to miss this. The Boy is putting up the dishes in the kitchen and being a complete dork about it.

There was a time that I would freak if it wasn't' done my way. Now I am going to miss him putting all the silverware in one section of the holder. Or his still asking where things go each time.

Multiple personalities

Some days, I want to take on the world, move up the corporate ladder, be serious, and very adult.

Some days, I wanna be carefree, enjoy life, make my blog bright and pretty, like pink, cook, organize, create gift for friends, talk about shopping (ok not so much), and just not have a care in the world.

I need to learn I can be very aggresive in my career, wear my work clothes, listen to NPR and my classical music ( I do it cause I like it!!), then come home, throw on one of the many pairs of Converse in my cloest, throw food all over the kitchen to cook, study a little, and enjoy a little pink mixed in my my favorite blue, gray, and purple. I can like flowers (just not in prints).

I feel like I am not normal sometimes in my likes and dislikes. It feels like sometimes no one but The Boy gets me. I am OK with that, but some days you just want to meet another soul like you.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Guilt

Why do I always feel guilty about being sick?

I am currently sitting in my office, feeling like I could throw up at any minute, too tired to get anything done, not caring about any thing, giving people the evil death stare but yet I can’t say I am sick and go home and sleep. It is to the point where I am crying but yet I still can’t go home.

I have it in my head that if I get up and say I am going home that I am going to get the disapproving look from my boss and feel guilty for heading home. So instead, I sit here, staring out the window feeling like crap.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Second Chances

I spent my afternoon in the lawyer’s office yesterday helping cut down our legal fees and get things ready for the first round of this M&A process. I had a blast, I really did. I think I was more shocked that the lawyers in the office were all my age.

The lawyer assisting us with this process noted my abilities at the legal process and asked if I ever thought about law school. Have I ever thought about it…..only since I was 7! Not sure why I didn’t do it, but time has passed and it still can’t get out of my head.

I am really considering going once my MBA is done. That should be in two years and this phase of my life and my company should be over and I will have a nice little egg in the bank. It would be so nice to be able to fully focus on law school. I am just not sure if my career can handle three years off or if I want to be working and doing law school at night. I figure I have 2 years to figure it out.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Move

As the uncertainty of his move starts to set in, I start realizing how much I am going to miss him. Let me digress a minute and give the background.
A few weeks ago he come over with the sad puppy dog face and couldn’t look me in the eye. Due to my history, I was thinking he was going to tell me his just didn’t feel that way for me, or he found someone else, or something else horrible. So when he told me that work was moving him back to DC, I was actually relieved. That is until I realized what this meant. The worst part in all of this is that they have told him it will happen, just not a specific date. So I am doing the practical thing and thinking that when they tell him we will then have 30 days till he has to be there. Really, every day that passes without news is one more day we get together.
Well we started off being super sweet to each other because we both knew that being asses to each other was a waste of our limited time. However, as weeks go by without news, we are starting to fall back into our old routine. (side note, I am in the office babysitting a class and I SWEAR someone is snoring in the class!!)
The stress of all of the move, major issues at work, school, and the battle I face in my house, is starting to wear on me and I wish I wouldn’t take it out on him. He is nothing but the best to me. He takes care of me, worries about me, makes fun of me, understands my crazy world and generally is the best thing I have ever had happen to me….so why do I take it all for granted way too often?
Ah well, knowing you do it is half the battle I suppose.


Saturday, September 27, 2008

Does it come back to hant you?

In this day of MySpace, Facebook, blogs, and every Joe having their own website, does what you post online come back to haunt you?

Sure, we have all heard of the girls who posted pictures on their website of their wild Spring Break trip, thier audition on Girls Gone Wild, their forays into girl on girl action, but what about those of us who use our blogs as a place to let off some steam, to bitch about things that bug us but that we keep in?

I am sitting here wondering this because I need to find a creative outlet for all of this crap in my life. I need to be able to vent freely and without worry that my boyfriend will roll his eyes at hearing the crap that is my job over and over. I don’t want suggestions on how to fix it because I fix it by bitching (although, I love to hear them when they aren’t what I always hear), I just need a place to yell I guess. I stopped yelling in the car when other drives look at me scared out of their minds.

I want to use my blog to open up and vent, but I really am worried about it coming back to haunt me on job interviews and as I move up the ladder of my career. I do very well at keeping anything that would identify me out of my blog so I guess that is a good thing.

One of the blogs that I read on a daily basis is from a woman who just got a job at a great place. It really sounds like she is moving up in the world. When I read the personal parts of her life though I cringe. Not that anything is really bad, she lives a life kind of like me but I worry for her that in the future her blog will bite her.

I guess I will press my luck and do it. I will still try very hard to keep any identifying marks and features out of my blog. I will be like a blogging super hero!! Dedicated company girl by day, bitchy girl by night. Oh, maybe I will get this cult following of blog readers, or my blog will become main stream and people will use it as water cooler talk. Ok, maybe I will just be a little less stressed at the morons I meet on a daily basis.

Monday, July 21, 2008

I forgot!!

I was cleaning out my long list of blogs that I read and came across one and had no idea whose it was. Of course, I go and check for new posts and it has been a year since there was a post. I started reading one of them and it sounds vaguely familiar. DAMN!!!! It’s mine!!

So I must have forgotten about this blog. That is a shame since there have been so many times I have wanted to write and not be known and my Myspace page is not good for that. Glad I found this again.

I read my old posts and what a difference a year makes. In fact, I think I am going to hide access to the old posts. I was a bitter bitch. Of course, I had just had my heart broken, thought I would lose all my friends because of it, had no one to turn to when I needed to talk it out, and felt lost and alone. Turns out, the guy was a jerk and still is. I hated myself more for falling in love with a jerk. But, the best thing to come from it was my amazing friends. With them, I was able to pull through and met a great guy. One I almost pasted up because he is the textbook nice guy and Lord knows I am not used to a guy like that. One who just wants me to be happy and actually cares unconditionally about me.

So this begins a new chapter in my blog. Oh sure, I will probably still go off. call people all kinds of wonderful names, be my lovely angry self, but at least this time I will be able to have a little happy in there.