Saturday, November 15, 2008

I am WEAK

I hate stress....I really, really do. Can't a girl catch a break!!!

The Boy left this week, that sucks and I am not adjusting as well as I hoped I would. I probably would adjust better if the other things were a little less in my life right now.

Work is crazy beyond crazy. I have a ton to finish up for a legal project I am working on, two employees who have been working with their heads up their butts for months on end and now all of their mistakes, wrong assumptions, and laziness is coming to light and I am having to correct the issues. The IT guy thinks it isn't his job to actually do IT and I have been doing all of that on top of everything else, he is a habitual liar and it is too the point where I don't even want him around any of our stuff so I just do it myself. Everyone is relying on me to pick up the slack and remember things for them and to be the go-to person. Well I dont' have time to be your brain....go find it yourself. I am working 13 hour days just to keep my head above water and even that isn't doing it.

The house is a complete disaster. How I keep my house is always a reflection on my mood and right now it is messy and depressing and overwhelming.

School, where I usually find my joy is just crap. I am still doing great but I have a group project to start and I haven't heard from ANYONE in my group. I am taking the lead in too many things right now that I wanted to see if anyone in my group would step up. After 2 weeks of no communication, I get my response. I just sent an email so let's see what comes of it. I just sent it and realized I probably should have CC:ed the instructor but oh well. I guess I will take my 2 quizzes and the exam today after work and then dive into the project as if I have no group and see what happens.

There is also another uncertainty weighing on me that I can not get over. I know the outcome is good and I have thought logically about it but the emotional side of me is just having issues which is causing the effect.

I know it will get better, it always does, but I have got to learn to be more proactive at coming out of these funks.

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