Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Back to the blogging world

I took some time off from the blog, from reading any blogs, and generally from normal life for a while there. I had been having a rough few weeks and it shows in my blog posts. I was letting stupid crap get to me and not looking at the bigger picture. Well on Wednesday night, that all came crashing down around me. My mom called around 8:30 and said she was taking my dad to the hospital and that he was pretty bad. Now for those that don’t know, my daddy is my world. He is my hero, my protector, my biggest supporter, and my everything. I dropped what I was doing and rushed out of the house to head down to Baylor and help my mom. For a while there we were not sure we would get my dad back. I was not ready to deal with that and it got shoved on my plate. It promptly shoved the trivial crap out of the way. We he woke up on Sunday morning, it was the best gift I could have and will ever get.

I am learning to put the scary thought of life without my dad behind but it isn’t as easy as I thought. It is there now as is the thought that this scenario might play itself out in some form and it won’t have as good of an ending. It scares me to death and I am trying as hard as I can to put it out of my head. Also, for a brief moment there that line of caregiver was reversed. We don’t talk about it but we both know it happened and we have to deal with that being that we are both extremely proud people.

I also started resenting everyone around me who could go on with their normal lives…the Boy included. I got pissed at people who told me to move on and get over it and acted like it never happened. Thank goodness I am getting over that too.
If anything this whole issue has taught me what is truly important in my life and what isn’t. I can’t say I am completely over it and will ever be but I think ultimately it will change me for the better.

So back to blogging and more focus on not really caring what others think about what I write. ☺

No comments:

Post a Comment