Thursday, June 11, 2009

Today's Task

For the last month or so, my life has been run by a little 6 pound cat named Annie. She and I have a long past. I found her when she was 3 weeks old in our dog house and took her in. She was close to death's door when we found her but I nursed her and her sister back to health and she was my companion throughout some of the craziest years in my life.

She saw me through first love, marriage, divorce, graduation, start of school and numerous new jobs, new houses, new friends, new love. Many nights when I cried she was the one who came running to comfort me and allowed me to cry on her. She was the one who would look at me with big eyes and just be happy to have me there to see when it seemed no one else was there for me. In many ways she was my rock. She truly lived life to make me happy.

So today, was the end of our lives together and was the day I had dreaded since I realized she was going to pass one day. For the past month, she has had feline asthma and medicines worked at first but gradually they stopped doing what they were there for. In the final days she would lay on the floor and show no interest in anything and save up her strength to come see me a few times a day and check on me. She stopped eating last night and I saw in her eyes that she was tired and hurting. I was up most of the night being the one to comfort her and tell her that it was going to be OK and that she didn't need to be strong for me anymore and that I would make her feel better.

This rainy morning, we went to the vet and with the vet's opinion being what I already knew was needed, we decided to let my baby be at peace. For the first time since this started I was able to hold her in my lap and pet her and see her relax. She fell asleep and then we did what had to be done. I don't think in the end there was a dry eye in the room. Even the manly vet tech was weeping. I wanted to go hug him and tell him thank you and it would be OK. I was able to hold her for the whole thing and comfort her and tell her how much I loved her and thank her for the years she had given me and how much joy she brought to my life. I know, she is finally out of pain and at peace. I know that the tears I cry as I write this and as I go about my day today are pure selfishness of wanting to cuddle with her one more time and wanting to hold her and hear her voice once more. I love you sweet girl.

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