Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 - Be gone with you.

As my last post of 2009, I thought it only right to look back on the year I wish would have never happened.

The year started out with having to face the realization that my parents were not always going to be here. My daddy got pretty sick and really scared the heck out of me. I realized in that time who my true friends were and was shocked at by who wasn't there for me (leading to lots of drama in the coming months).

My baby got sick in May and I had to let her go exactly a month after she got sick. She was my constant companion for 13 years. Every time I cried she was there to comfort me. Buster (her sister, the name has a great story) and I both were sad for a good few months and to this day, I still say goodnight to both of them.

The Boy and I broke up in July after a tumultuous few months. I think once I realized that he wasn't "The One" I fought like hell to make him so. Once I figured out that was not going to happen I was able to let go and have slowly started moving on.

Throughout all of this, my job became more and more stressful. We sold our company in June after I worked my butt off for over a year to make it happen. I hate office politics and got thrown into it and it really took it's toll on me. In December the new owners defaulted on payments and more drama happened. As a result, the franchise took the business back, screwed my boss, and I am finishing up one more project on a consultant basis and then I am out too. This past month has been everyone treating me rude and acting like I am trying to screw them over. Of course, I see that when I see that they are not running the business but instead "playing office". They had no clue what my boss or I did and in the last few weeks there no one wanted to learn. It is heartbreaking seeing something I helped build being torn apart. I have had to learn to let go and just remove myself.

So 2009, you sucked but in all of the loss that you gave me, you also gave me a new start. I am looking forward to 2010 and fresh starts in all areas.

Last Christmas present

Guess who has a new purple purse!!! Purchased with none of my own money so I didn't spend a dime of my new budget. :) And as a shock to my friends, I changed out my makeup bag. No more red one; I now have a nice pretty pink satiny one. I guess I am living by the saying, "keep them guessing."

Modification of Menu

I must be enjoying freedom or else my mind is still decompressing from working. I completely forgot when I made out the menu that it was New Year's eve this week! DUH!!!!

So, modifications must be made.

Thursday...pre-festivity salad and munchies at party
Friday...Black eye peas, greens, and cornbread
Saturday...pork chops, mash potatoes (going to try to lighten them up), green beans.

I'm still working on my 2010 goals and want to post those tomorrow. I need some reflection time so I think tomorrow calls for a treat of writing at Starbucks tomorrow morning (purchased on a gift card of course).

PS..oh my word!!! My dog snores worse than any one I have ever heard!! But when you look at that funny face, it doesn't really matter. :)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Exciting Wednesday night

Well we are all back at the all I mean one spoiled queen cat, one short funny looking manic dog, and one sweet genius Lab and me. And all seem to think that being within 2 feet of me is the best spot in the house. I couldn't be happier.

I finally cried about everything that happened these past few months and broke down about it all. I realized in the middle of it that I haven't just let it go like that in a while. It was just what I needed.

Tonight, I am spending the night cleaning house and purging all of my crap. I am giving away all of my old work shirts and bags, all but a few special things from past relationships, old files from my past jobs that I will never need, clothes that don't fit, things that are broken, old, don't fit with my house, things that are duplicates, and anything I don't want. My goal is to fill my empty dining room with stuff and have them come pick it up next week. I WANT IT GONE. 2009 was a shitty year and it is time to just get rid of it all.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Still on Vacation

Still on vacation! I can't believe I slept till 10:30 this morning! Thank goodness I am at the parents' house tonight puppy sitting or else I would probably sleep till 10:30 tomorrow too. But being here, the pups won't let me sleep that long. Of course, I have no clue what I am going to do tomorrow until my 2pm meeting. I would like to get a for fun book to read so I might head up to Target to see what they have so I can use my gift cards and not my cash.

Oh!! My final present was a gift certificate for Spa Finders. I have already found a new spa to try so next week is going to be a 90 minute massage. I am looking forward to it more than you can ever imagine! And I hope my Note gets to me in time so I can buy the purse that I want while it is in stock and on sale. Between that and the gift cards I got, I will be able to pay for it without using any of my own money! That will be my last hurrah for a while...spending is being curtailed until my income in steady again and I get the last spree paid off.

Well, nothing much more to say tonight. Kind of still emptying my mind of the events of the last few months and trying to move past my last job so I can move to better things.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Sunday dinner success

The BBQ chicken was an A. In the spirit of eating what is at the house, I didn't buy hamburger buns to make BBQ sandwiches, instead I used tortillas and made homemade BBQ soft tacos with my homemade pickles. Very tasty! The recipe can be found here. I did go a little more liberal on the spices listed.

Now I have to clean up and get ready for a busy week. 3 more long days. Meetings, work, appointments, then a New Year's eve party (where yours truly will NOT be drinking) and the a day to start over. I have decided since 2009 for all purposes, SUCKED, I am going to do all of the things I never do and make resolutions. Of course, I am going to take a key from a few others and treat it as 12 goals in 12 months. More to come on that later.

Weekly Menu..budget times

Being short on income for a month or so is making me think about the budget a lot more. I have a freezer and a pantry full of food so it is time to eat off of what I have. I should only have to buy salad stuff and potatoes.

Sunday...BBQ chicken (recipe in Cooking light) with homemade bread. the parents house to puppy sit = eating from their freezer.
Tuesday...parents house
Wednesday...spaghetti and salad
Thursday...pork chops, mashed potatoes and green beans
Friday...BBQ Chicken baked potato
Saturday...pork chop sandwich and potato salad

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I'm not dreaming of a white christmas anymore!

It's snowing! Sure it isn't sticking yet, but it is snowing! It made dealing with the crowds at Target and Goody Goody (yes, I bought alcohol...along with the rest of this town it seems) a little more bearable. People were in good spirits and smiling; kids were yelling "it's snowing!". It's great.

Wrap presents...check.
Bake 4 more fruitcakes...check.
Get teenage appropriate presents...check.
Get rum for 2 rum cakes to bake tonight for tomorrow....check.
Pack for parental units...
clean house for arrival on Christmas for the 2 best and craziest dogs around...

Getting close to being done!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Great first day

About 9:45 last night I got REALLY tired. I realized that without the stress, I was finally unwinding. I slept SO good last night.

Today was a meeting at the new office to go over the infrastructure. I saw the office that will be mine and now I am thinking of how to decorate it! This office will not get trashed like my last one. It was nice being able to go into an office and see nice people as well as more than 2 people. I brought a rum cake that a friend made me as a thanks for having me gift and everyone loved it. Yea for the power of rum cake! I just realized I didn't eat any of it so I might have to make me one tomorrow night at the parental units. Of course I have to go to get the rum. OH!! That's what I will bring to the Christmas dinner too (more on that later).

Once I finished the meeting, I was able to go have lunch with my girls. It is great being in the same area as they are and being able to go have lunch. I look forward to more lunches.

Once lunch was over I went over the the boss/friend's house and hung with him, his wife and their 7 kids....yep, that is NOT a typo. Coming from a house with just me as a kid, seeing how 7 interact is amazing. I think it was because they all don't live there and so they really don't fight but enjoy time together. I ended up there for almost 7 hours! It was fun to just be part of a family again though.

The recurring theme of today seems to be friends as family. I realized that it is just me. I am not close to my cousins or their kids and have issues with them that are too much to go into here. My closest friends have become my surrogate family. My friends' kids my nieces and nephews. It makes me happy that I have people in my life I can consider family.

Bed time for me. Tomorrow it is baking, wrapping, last minute run to Target and heading to the 'rents. Oh, and dealing with some unexpected winter weather. Only in Texas...high of 75 today and snow tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Free at last!

Well kiddos, I am free. No more going into the office. No more being treated like an ugly step-child. I am free.

At 4:15 I parted ways with the office. Said good-bye to one person, ignored the other and walked out. I still have work I am doing for them but I am doing it from home. I am out of the operations business...and the driving to hell each day business.

It is going to take me a few days to realize I no longer work there. I have so much I want to do now that I have time. However, I am going to stop my brain and just relax.

Nerves please go away

Only about 2 more hours to go at this hellish place and my heart is racing. I know it is a combination of medicine, nerves, and excitement but this anxiety is making my palms sweat and my heart pound!

Think in 2 hours I won't be in this office anymore. In 2 hours, I will be free, in 2 hours I have to start really watching my money, in 2 hours I can finally start unwinding from 5 years of stress and craziness. (as a sidenote, it is amazing how much my face has cleared up since there was an end to everything).

I think tonight deserves a bathroom cleaning and a little cheap decorating and a nice bubble bath.

Monday, December 21, 2009

8 hours till freedom

8 more hours at the office. After that NO MORE. It felt very strange watching them interview for my replacement. But you know, after how these past few weeks have gone, I am more than ready to be out of there. I never knew people I worked with for 5 years could be so backstabbing and rude to me. I guess it just comes from being in my position.

It isn't like I will have much time to veg out. Wednesday I have a meeting at my new office then lunch. Thursday I have to wrap presents and head to my parents. The weekend is mine! Monday I have a 1pm appointment, Tuesday I have to work for my mom (must have a little supplemental income) and then appointment for new job. Wednesday I work, Thursday dentist. After that, I work Tuesday - Thursday for my mom all through January and then Monday and Friday for my unpaid internship if you will. Hopefully, I can start getting paid and have a full time job by February.

Well bed time for me. Must be in at 8am for my last day. I guess I can do that. :)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Weekly Menu

Last week, I was about 50/50 on following the menu. So I still have some ingredients that I didn't use last week that I need to use up.

Sunday: chow mien (never made last week) - This one is currently cooking My bean sprouts went south so I will have to run up and grab some more.

Monday: Egg rolls and chow mien.

Tuesday: Caesar salad w/ grilled shrimp (might mix up the salad a bit)

Wednesday: BBQ chicken sandwiches w/coleslaw.

Thursday: BBQ chicken w/cornbread and greens.

Friday: Christmas! Dinner w/friends, make something to bring.

Saturday: Shrimp and Feta bake and a movie.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Must get new glasses

For anyone not in the know, I must wear glasses, contacts are not an option. No, it isn't that I have an aversion to sticking my finger in my eye (I happily did that for 17 years). Nope, I am partially blind in one eye and as a way to protect my other eye, my doctor will not give me the prescription anymore.

It kills me sometimes since I am still adjusting to glasses, but when I stop to think about it, close my good eye and look around, I see exactly why it needs to be this way. If something were to happen to my good eye, it would be as my doctor as well as a friend tell me, a significant life altering event.

I am starting to use this "blessing" to get multiple pairs of glasses to go with outfits. Who says I can't accessorize with the spectacles?!? If you really know me, then you know how jazzed I was when I saw this on Corporette this morning....

More info for your own peepers can be found here.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I have arrived at the light

YEA YEA YEA!!!! I was told today that I am allowed to work from the house for the remaining time on my contract!! We all know what that means...after 5 years of working my butt off, you can bet I will be learning to work the minimum time I need to keep off their radar. :) I already have my schedule decided on. Of course, this means nothing is holding me back from working in the new office, but that is going to happen sometime in January. Goody goody gumdrops!

Even though we are talking 2 weeks that both involve holidays, we are still talking 2 weeks to work on the house, sleep a little late, do the 30 second commute, work till lunch, run errands, and catch up on non school reading until school starts on the 11th.

I am looking forward to moving to the new office soon. I am going to be near my friends again AND near things to do. I can actually do lunch, go shopping, go to the bank, happy other words, have a life! And I get to have my weekends again!

I still don't have any holiday cheer but at least I can say I am happy about where things are going in my career.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Food cravings

Crap, I am craving fajitas!! It is just me so it is impractical to make them. And honestly, fajitas are like sandwiches to me, they don't taste near as good when you make them as when someone else makes them for you. And I am having to watch pennies now that the job is ending. CRAP.

Can I stop time please?

I am currently watching Paula's Cookie Swap and feeling like a complete Christmas failure.

Presents are just thrown around the house. Wrapping paper is no where to be found. Christmas tree is in the attic. One present still to get this weekend. The one Christmas decoration a friend brought me, a poinsettia, is about to die. People will be lucky to get their presents in paper bags.

I feel like I am looking at everyone enjoying the holidays through a window or as a TV show all around me. I am not even phased by them right now. My Christmas plans will be going to my parents' house on Christmas eve, heading to my grandmother's for lunch on Christmas and then heading home to watch TV. My New Year's Eve will consist of an 8am dentist appointment, cleaning house (maybe painting my office finally), cooking dinner, maybe renting a movie and going to sleep well before midnight. Such a change from last year. Not that I am sad and missing it though. Last year was the Christmas and New Year's I wanted to experience once and I got it. I can't complain.

I think the stress of the hell hole is getting to me and preventing me from enjoying the holidays. It is sad when the best present they could give me would be to let me go on Wednesday. I am being told to work slow and stretch it out so I can get paid fro a little longer. It is so bad now that I don't want to do that. But then again, I also don't want my savings for the last 2 years to go towards living for the next few months. At this point though, this place is sucking the life out of me. I have no desire to do anything, to go anywhere, to meet anyone. I just want to get on to the new job where I can be happy working for my mentor and friend and start making my own living. I also get to meet new people and start having a life again. I am most looking forward to having weekends off again. After 5 years, I can finally have my weekends back.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Well the soup didn't turn out the way it should have. The cheese didn't seem to melt the way I wanted it to. Oh, it was still good..anything with Gouda (or cheese for that matter) is good to me, but it needs more melting. The cat just snuck what was left out of my bowl so I guess she liked it too.

I also didn't get to eat much of it because I had a little accident with my bowl. I am not really sure how it happened but I ended up with a hot bowl of soup all over my lap and my arms...and my new couch. I don't think it is going to stain or show since the couch is dark. The soup was hot enough to cause blisters on my arm. I guess I will be wearing long sleeves tomorrow.

Can you believe it is almost Christmas!! I haven't even started thinking about it. I just realized that I am still missing a few presents that should have been here and I need to get my cards out! Guess I will do that this week when I should be working. :)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday dinner...a success!!

Sunday dinner was a great success! Just enough sweet and just enough spice. The salmon was perfectly cooked and the walnuts that went on top were toasted and tasted yummy. I ended up doing a spinach salad with it and put some of the toasted walnuts in the salad. I know the amount I ate was the correct amount but I am still hungry! I know the first week is hard when I am trying to get my eating under control and I just have to tough it out.

I decided to really commit to the weight loss and start exercising too. I need to get back to my fighting weight so to speak.

In another note, I got kid hugs today so I am all happy. Why is it that kids, even though they are getting older, seem to know exactly when I need a hug?

Back to routine means menu planning and cooking!

Well, the craziness is (knock on wood) winding down. So I can get back on a normal routine and get life back in order. Time to clean the house, straighten my office up so I can start working from home next week, and most importantly, I am going to start cooking so I can stop eating junk food. That should help with the need to make lose the weight and gain the cash.

This time, in order to try and save a little more, I went with stuff in the house and didn't plan with the thought of just buying everything. I also planned for my leftovers. I am not a fan, but I think it is time to start planning for them and not throwing them out.

Sunday: Walnut Ginger Salmon, wild rice, and green beans
Monday: Slow cooker Chow Mein from my favorite new cookbook and one of my favorite blogs.
Tuesday: Red Pepper and Gouda soup
Wednesday: yo-yo night. What we called left over night when I was a kid. Yo-yo is short for your on your own.
Thursday: Pork chops with steams veggies
Friday: pepper and molasses pulled chicken sandwiches.
Saturday: yo-yo night.
Sweet tooth insurance: angel food cake with berries.

All of the recipes are from my healthier repertoire. Looking forward to a great week!

Saturday, December 12, 2009


I have a confession to make....

There are things, I do not understand about things the majority of people seem to like.

One such thing is Pioneer Woman. I know, I am going to some blogger hell for this one but I don't get it! Sure I have been to her site, sure, her photography is good, the recipes look good, but why stand in line for hours just to get a book signed? I know people that sing her praises and go on and on about her and while I am sure she is good and the recipes amazing, I just don't see what the fuss is.

Let's see. I finished up at the crappo office today and I am really unsure if I am going back on Monday. I am supposed to meet with my boss tomorrow to figure it all out. I left it set up like I was not coming back. I put notes on everything that still needed to be done and left my door open. I will be honest, I did shed a little tear when I walked out of my purple office. I mean, it was where I spent the majority of the last 5 years. I was probably there more than I was at my house. I painted the walls myself. It gave me a lot and it cost me a lot. I know it is time to move on, but I get attached and I know that I will miss part of it.

I actually enjoyed my new job today. There is a ton I need to learn. Some of the things are stuff that I feel I should know but don't. I don't want people to know that I am deficient in these things so I am starting to take notes and brush up on it at night. It is stuff I did in undergrad and just have to pull out of my brain. Most if is economics so hopefully once I start studying it, it will start to flow.

Now, off to bed I think.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Happy days are here again!

Well, it was a good day. I had an easy morning, went to the new office in the afternoon and had a successful shopping trip tonight. Let me focus on the fun part first...the shopping of course!

After the office, I really didn't feel like sitting in traffic and wasting time. The Galleria is on my way home and even though it as Christmas craziness, I decided to bite the bullet and go for it. I lucked into a spot on the first level of the garage. I got into Nordstrom and was able to spend time looking for new shoes (which I really needed). I found a pair of boots I have been eying and score! they were on sale for 1/2 the price. Yippee!!! The sad part was that they Tory Birch's that I tried on didn't fit. My usual size was too small and the next size up was too big. I did find a new pair that I liked. My size wasn't in stock in the color I wanted but I tried on another size and ordered the color I wanted. So in 7-10 days, these babies will be in my closet. The picture does not do them justice, they look amazing on. I think my shopping is going to be coming to an end now (unless my purse doesn't come through for Christmas). If I do end up going to get my purse, I will be waiting until I get my perk to buy it.

Well bedtime for me. I have to actually show up for work at a normal time tomorrow and not the 9:30 I have been doing.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The times they are a-changin'

Sorry to Mr. Dylan for taking an amazing title and putting it to a blah blog post. But it just fits perfectly and it has been in my mind all day.

I am free. The official word of my departure has been announced. The plan is in place to get everyone trained to do their own jobs and my replacement is being looked for. I am free.

Tomorrow I get to go to the new job and start working on the transition to get in. Now, what to wear!!!! Oh I am so happy that I can have a reason to wear cute clothes again. I have a ton of new winter clothes sitting in my closet and I have a ton of choices.

While I am happy to go to the new place of employment, I am hoping I can still get away in time to go run and pick up some new shoes. I still have my heart set on the flats. I also have a cute dress and a skirt that is screaming for a pair of boots. The key is to try and find some that will fit over my calves. On my fat days, they are too fat and then when I work out they get too muscular so I need to find some that fit regardless of fat or muscle. I think I found a pair but of course, I never know till I try them on.

You know, I need a mirror. Yes, I am living without a full length mirror. I don't think I have seen an outfit I have worn from head to toe in about 5 years. Guess it is time to do a little shopping for that too!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Praying for a good week

Next week has to be better than last week. I would be scare if it was worse.

Friday night/Saturday, I slept 3 hours. It was not pretty and I realized why I have been so irritable and emotional lately. No sleep on top of all the crap going on of course led to my breakdown at the office on Friday. I mean a throwing my phone across the room fit. (Have I said before that I have anger management issues when I get pushed passed my limits?) I went home Friday afternoon in tears and emailed in my resignation. My boss talked me out of it and I withdrew it, but that doesn't mean that I won't be putting it back into effect this week, if things don't work right. I have also told my boss to keep the asshole away from me. I am dead serious that he better not talk to me or even look at me funny. If so, I will kill him.

Today, I went and did damage on my shiny card. I justified it because I only go shopping about 2-3 times a year. I was able to see my purse and I know that it will be mine. Either it will be the present from the boss or it will be mine after Christmas. I was happy that my mom could go with me on such short notice. She gets my shopping style and it really great at helping me find things that I might overlook. I think now I have some good things to wear to the new office. I am staying in the finance industry with the new company, but I am changing clientele so I want to be able to dress a little more upscale and for the industry. I have been able to wear jeans everyday for 5 years so it is kind of nice to be able to dress up. I really just can't wait to be out of where I am now. I am very soured on it all and as much as I hate to admit it, I could care less what happens to the place. That is what breaks my heart after I helped build it up from a start up. But, I think that is the art of just growing and moving on.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

1 down, 2 more to go!

Yea!!! As I was sitting on the couch hitting myself for forgetting that about 2 hours ago I got sidetracked going to grab a bottle of wine, I realized the perfect gift for the boss who seemingly has everything and who is starting a new venture that for my personal benefit I hope is successful. When we started the last business, I got him a specific bottle of wine with directions to only drink it once the goal was complete. Now that the bottle is gone, it is time to replace it. So much better than a damn pen that SOMEONE got him last year. (Someone being the ego driven, self obsessed, personal bottom line loving co-worker).

Now, friends and I am done! That one is easy too, I just have to go run a few errands to complete the task.

Christmas almost done!

Parental unit presents are purchased and on their way to la casa.
All that is left are friends and boss. Friends are no problem. For them it is harder to just pick one thing. Boss is the hard one. I will probably do the same old Starbuck's card but after 9 years, that gets old.

Now, to get out the tree this weekend and take some time out of studying to get it put together and get this place Christmas ready.

In other news, it is cold here! I got the courage to light my fireplace tonight. I know I am a wuss. At my old condo I had a wood burning fireplace and I was expert at getting that thing started and getting it going. Now that I am in the house and have a gas fireplace, it freaks me out a little. The first time, I didn't have the handy long matches. I tried to light it with my candle lighter and had a small gas fire ball shoot out of the fireplace. Tonight was success!!

There is a bright light at the end of the work tunnel! I go see my new office next week and work on getting moved over there. I am so excited I can hardly wait!!!