Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Not So Serious

-  I have a thing for the color purple.  No, not the movie, the color.  The crazy thing is I never thought I did.  If you ask me I will tell you I don’t really like it. Yea, I am lying to myself I love it and it’s as close to pink as I will get.
-  I cuss my cat in German yet I really don’t know German.  No seems to be the word we use most in this house so one night I sat here and said no to her in every language I could think of until she responded…German it was! In my defense, I am actually thinking about learning German for work.  
-  Speaking of cussing, I cuss like a sailor, a really good sailor too. 
-  My Texas accent is proportionate to the amount of alcohol I consume.  The more I drink the more it comes out.
-  I don’t eat artificial sweeteners.  For the longest I was a Diet Coke junkie and then I decided to go cold turkey.  Let me just say DAMN it’s like coming off of crack.  But I have been clean for a while and now if I eat anything that has it in it I can taste it and it is nasty.  The hardest part was not drinking my Starbucks without it.  Yea I know I can use full sugar and all that but…..
-  If artificial sweeteners are like crack then sugar is like speed and thus I REALLY limit the amount of processed sugar I eat.  Oh you knew it was coming.  I try to eat as clean as possible.  Agave nectar, honey, succant, and all that new age BS.  I know it seems stupid but I actually can tell a difference.  Notice though I said TRY.  I still crave sweets like no ones business but I try to stay good as long as possible and then binge once a month.  Donuts are ALWAYS off limits.
-  I am not a good house keeper.  My house isn’t like Hoarder’s bad, in fact it is relatively clean but it is hard for me to do it.
-  I love to dress up but I love my sweats and pjs too.  If I am at home, I am in  the slob gear.
-  I have a growing collection on Chucks aka Converse.  But only lo-tops. I used to wear them to work when I worked a job that I could wear jeans to.  Now I keep them out of the office and only for the weekends.  Oh, growing up is a bitch!
-  I am not in love with Sex in the City.  I never had cable when it was on so I never watched it.  I have watched a few episodes and the movie but I just never flipped over it.
-  I have no pictures in my house up.  I even have an empty frame sitting on my coffee table! UPDATE: I have pictures on the walls!!  And that frame, yep it has one too.  But, it is one of a cloud at the beach and not a person but still).
-  I might not like shopping too much but I LOVE surfing online for clothes…I could probably get to enjoy shopping but I am scared I will like it too much. UPDATE:  Personal shopping ROCKS!!!  That is my vice.  I still hate going to any store except for my fav, Nordstrom but I am getting better.

About Me

I love to just be me and relax.  When I do anything, I want to do it to the best of my ability. This causes me to be scared to do anything because I don’t think I can do it perfect.  It sucks.  I get over it, life goes on.
Cooking is something I do to relax and de-stress.  Baking is fun, but I can’t eat what I bake or else my ass would be bigger than a barn so I steer clear. Spa days are God’s gift to a hard week.  I could spend a fortune being pampered.  I love making my house feel like a home.  I have spent years trying to find my personal house style and it is getting close to being nailed down….today.  Travel is a great thing.  Give me surf, sand, and sun and I am all over it.
I like the tomboy things.  I am one with my cars.  I love to work my my cars, just be in the garage and get dirty.  I also love to drive fast.  My outlet is the track.  I participate in track days and HPDE's at least monthly.  If I could, I would do it every week.  I race a diesel, granted it isn't a R18 or anything but hey, it's a start.  Plus, it is a great conversation starters and stops the guys in their tracks when I get passes in.  I look at pictures of cars like some girls look at wedding pictures.  I actually like yard work and digging in the dirt, but I never do it because I think I will suck (see first paragraph). 
I like intellectual things.  I have been in school more years than not.  I finally got my MBA last year after 1o years in it.  To put up with that much school, you have to enjoy learning.  I love to read.  I have a growing love of math.  It is like working a puzzle.  This is a love that has come later in life. If I am not learning, I am not happy.  People think this love of learning makes me too serious.  I think it makes me smart and I like being smart.  I love to travel and see historic places.
I like musical things.  I am a killer sax player.  Always have.  Music is my soundtrack to life.  I will listen to just about anything.  I appreciate all music, I like most music, I love a lot of music.  I sing like a cat with it’s tail being pulled (yes, I know this for a fact). Because of this, I only sing in the car…alone. You have to get me pretty drunk to do karaoke.
Want to know even more about me….

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Moving On...

One day I will find a blog that sticks. I have loved this blog and I am sad to stop posting but I have caught myself censoring what I say.  That doesn't help me and leaves my posts very bland.  So, I am moving on to more anonymous grounds.

The new blog is already up and running and I might even move some of these posts over.  I will be spending the next few weeks, printing out these posts for my own journal and to have a memory of some of the best and worst times that I have had while writing here.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Weekend plans

It has been crazy crazy crazy around here lately.

Work has been going good.  Very busy but good.  At first I was hesitant about this job since I am a finance person and NOT a marketing type person.  But, I have done pretty good.  I hope that this week and next week are enough to push me to my first goal.  Even, though I enjoy the job, I still miss my numbers.  I am casually looking to get back into my field and have applied to a few jobs.  But, at least I am doing something that doesn't bore me to death...most days.

School gave me a scare and I freaked that I was going to have to wait one more semester to graduate.  My first thought was oh hell no!!!  I ended up finding a way to take a comparable class and will have to beg and plead with my advisor to accept it instead.  They are pretty good so I think it will be  no issue.  The class is more in my interest anyway so I think it will all work out better.

WW has been going great.  11 pound down this month.  Part of that is probably taking out the refined sugar and processed foods completely.  Then I added in the C25K to the mix and it's has helped even more.  It helps that I have White Rock Trail right by the office so I am literally 2 minutes from it.  My boss is also very supportive so I can go whenever I want.

There is more to add but it can wait until tomorrow.  Must get to sleep so I can get up early in the morning to head to White Rock Market and then to the parentals to drop off a few things, go through some of my stuff and get rid of some stuff I will mention tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Date: FAIL

Yea, date didn't go do good.  Oh he was a cool guy, but never asked anything about me.  Seemed to really not be into me but yet was a perfect gentleman and kept the date going longer than he probably needed to.  I completely embarrassed myself and needless to say we won't be seeing each other again unless I run into him when he is playing a show or out drinking. But this is a big town and that won't be happening.

Needless to say, I am through dating for a while.  My online account just renewed and I was able to get a refund on that.  I'm tired of bad first dates, rude men, and just the hassle of dating.  I realized I need to remember again what it is like to truly be single. To enjoy spending time on things I want to do and try and make more time for the friends I already have and get out and make more friends. And I need to make more single friends.  I am freakin tired of being the only single one.

In other news I think I need to move out of suburbia-hell and get to a new area of town.  Not as easy as it seems when you own your house but I am going to start figuring out a way to do it.

Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm Back!!!

Not sure how much I will be posting but I am back for a little bit.  I went back to the old school paper journal.  It's strange how the act of physically writing helps my writing and my brain.

Let's see, what's going on.  Work is ok, relatively speaking.  Things going good, meeting new people, getting over my fear of the phone and talking to strangers, all in all good times.  Of course my confidence has been bolstered by....

NEW CLOTHES!!  Yea, I know, I so suck at the whole saving thing right now.  In my defense, I did budget for my downfall.  So tonight after work, I rolled into Nordstrom and the Galleria, met my wonderful personal stylist, grabbed a glass of wine and went to town! Gotta love saying I went down a size.  Thank goodness for WW!  And the new clothes will be good for....

A freaking date!!!  I am abso-freaking-lutly floored I actually have a real date tomorrow and not a "coffee" date.  Even more amazing, he isn't a computer dork or engineer type (not that there is anything wrong with that but I have been dating that type for 10 years).  So looking forward to it.

Ok, not really tired but looking forward to sleeping in.  I saved a few points tonight for another glass of wine so that should be the trick to get nice and sleepy.  Hasta la bye-bye!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Conquering Fear

Well I did it, I looked fear in the eye and laughed.  Ok, so maybe laugh is a little strong.  Let's try got really really sick at my stomach, almost wimped out about 5 times and got so scared I almost cried.  But gosh darn-it, I did it!!

Did what you ask?  Climbed a mountain?  Performed surgery? Bungie jumped?  Nope.  Attended a Toastmasters meeting all by myself.  Yes, not a big deal to some but to me, the person who has done everything in life to avoid being noticed and talking, heading by myself to a meeting to a public speaking club is HUGE!!!  I sit home because I am scared to go new places by myself.  I am hoping I can slowly gain confidence to get out there and meet new people, go new places, and have more confidence in in myself.  I am looking forward to going again

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Long time no post

Things have been dysfunctional here in functional world.

My grandmother passed away last Friday and the funeral was today.  I wasn't close to her so it has been strange coming to terms with all the strange emotions I am feeling and the ones I think I should be feeling but am not.  That's pretty much all I want to say about it in the blog world. I am working through most of it in my paper journal.

I really don't go religion on my blog but I have try to observe Lent during the season as a way to get back to center and get back to what is important in life.  This time, I decided to give up the things that keep me distracted and not focused on the greater things that are and Facebook.  I know I have to check email as a matter of communication for school and the job search but I do that during normal work hours and check out of work hours at most twice in the night just for school matters.  Facebook, I haven't been on in about 2 weeks now.  I have to get back on in a few days for a intern project for my boss' radio show but other than that, right now I have no desire to be online.  I don't care if my high school classmates are sick, their kids are sick, they are going to work out, they are cooking dinner, or anything like that.

The only thing I miss are the daily NPR posts.  So, instead I went and added my favorite shows on to my Twitter and now I can get the feeds I want to see.  Yes, I am still using Twitter.  It is a big part of my job right now and I really handle 3 different feeds. I have my personal one attached to the blog that I rarely update unless I have a bitch or just a strange thought.  My professional one is where I follow all my business contacts and organizations and contribute on that with work related and career information.  Then I "ghost post" for my boss on his.

School is kicking my butt.  I have about 4 things due this week so I am using the fact that I am interning for free to my advantage and trying to get more work done at the office or leaving early to work on homework.

But, all in all I am trying to stay optimistic and I am keeping my head up.  Of course it would help if one day it would be warm and I could see the sun again!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What was I doing at 16?

First, I know this should go on Twitter but it's late and I don't really give a crap.  Now, back to the reason of the post...

What were you doing at 16?  Me, let's just say I hit a lot of milestones at 16 (both good and bad) and leave it at that shall we.

But this to me is amazing.

I am looking forward to following her while she attempts her dreams.

Fat Tuesday already?

I must be the most boring person alive!  My friend had to remind me it was Mardi Gras time.  I didn't even think about that.  I must be getting old :)

I also need to confess my dirtiest secret...I have been watching the Bachelor.  I know!!!!  It is trashy TV that just rots your brain. But I needed a good laugh folks!  I think it was the catty girl behavior that drew me in.  Last night I stopped watching it as a type of protest.  He sucks, nuff said, I'm over it and gaining 2 hours of my life each week back.

Let's see, Monday was a crappy Monday.  I was in a foul mood and just stayed quiet at the office all day.  I finally let it all out and turns out I wasn't the only one feeling it...the boss man was too.  He and I have worked together for 9 years and both have this thing for working at full capacity 100% of the time. Right now we can't and it is driving us both bat shit crazy.  It will get has to.

That said, today started out the same. It did get better but I am still fighting to get my vacation pay from my old job.  The fact they keep screwing me over and lying to me just kills me.  It isn't the way to do business and is just shows how low they are going and how much they can talk the talk but can't walk the walk. I need that money for some pretty important things (think health).  They are just being butts and not paying me.  That and the fact that my "unpaid" internship is going to have to come to an end soon is getting to me.  I finally had to say something today about that fact that if I didn't get on the payroll March 1 I was going to have to start looking for a paying job until I got on the payroll somewhere.  I love my job and that was a hard conversation to have.    Dealing with all of this for almost 4 months is taking it's toll on me.  And it has gone from mental to physical so not cool.  But, got rid of some of it by having a cry fest on the way home today.  Just what I needed. And why is it when I was 23 and stress, I could lose weight and not that I am 33 I am gaining it.  It really isn't fair.  :(

In less whiney news...I found a tailor today!  I know, stupid things make me happy.  I'm rather well endowed if you haven't heard and I am also VERY hourglass shaped.  I usually have to get a lot altered. So today my boss had his suit guy in the office getting measured for new suits.  (Side note, I ended up picking out the fabric which was fun in this slave to fashion way).  I asked him if he knew of anyone who could handle my alterations and he said he would love to.  Bonus....he will come to the office to get them.  Now, if I can resume the paycheck to be able to afford it all will be good!


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Sunday

Being single, I choose not to celebrate the holiday that was today.  I have nothing wrong with hearts, flowers, red, pink and chocolate.  I just choose not to participate.  I have passed the point of caring about it for the most part.  I have had one good Valentine's Day in my dating career (last year).  I experienced it, I liked it and now I am single again so I don't make a big deal.  No one called to wish me happy day, no cards, no emails, no Facebook wishes, nothing and I am OK with it.  Moving on...

I am so overwhelmed with school!!  I have no clue how I completely missed a quiz I was supposed to do. I have NEVER done that and I feel like a loser for doing it.  It just means I have to buckle down and get back on track.  I have probably 3-4 hours of school work to do each night after my 9-10 hours of work each day.

I am searching for a good place to do my school work.  I know I know, I have a perfectly good house to do my work at.  But I am learning that I am having a hard time concentrating and doing my work when I get home.  I seem to get a little too relaxed.  I have never created that good study place at the house.  I am contemplating going to the SMU library right by the office after work, going to my favorite Starbucks or find a new favorite one.   All I know is I need to get my butt in gear.  I can do anything for 9 more months right?

I'm signing off with one more snow pic.  This is my "puppy" enjoying her snow day.  She does have a tail it's just behind her.  I only say that because someone asked me when she was a puppy if I was going to crop her tail!  HELL NO!!!  Different strokes for different folks but I personally could never do that to an animal of mine.  I don't care if it is the accepted look for a dog.  I can't do it.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Weekly Menu

Here we go!  This is just the dinner portion of the weekly menu.  I actually plan out EVERYTHING for the week so I can be better at making sure I don't stray and eat the junk.

Saturday:  Greek Chicken (CL – Great Plates, p. 53)
Sunday:  Soy-Ginger soup with chicken (BHG Slow Cooker, p66)
Monday:  Greek Chicken (CL – Great Plates, p. 53)
Tuesday: pork chops, green beans
Wednesday: work meeting out
Thursday: BBQ chicken & zucchini
Friday:  Pizza Friday! (homemade of course)

Yea Olympics!!

I'm not a big cold weather person but I LOVE the winter Olympics!  I have been waiting for this night and I am SO glad I was able to get the DVR installed so I can record everything I want.  I can't think of any sport in the winter Olympics that I don't enjoy watching.

It was a lazy day (but productive) around the house.  I threw the cat out again and this time she ventured to touch the snow.

What you don't see is how fast she pulled that one little paw back and gave me the WTF!!!  look.  Yea, not liking the snow.  She instead would rather sit on top of my chair by the window and just stare at it all day.  Just like me, pretty from the inside, plain cold when outside.  But it is nice to have a little winter on the ground to make it feel like Olympic time. Thank you mother nature for giving me great decorations for this weekend.

Now it is time to grab some of my cookbooks and plan a menu for next week.  Tomorrow is the matinee of Valentine's Day (the ONLY think I will do even close to acknowledging the holiday) and then grocery store to get what I need for the week and curl up back at the house.  Oh wait, I need to go to get picture frames for my office pictures and THEN come curl up at the house.

As always, I will post the menu once I have it nailed down.  The goal on this one is to be able to make some ingredients do double duty and keep the grocery store bill to a minimum.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Snow Day!

I am loving this weather!  It has been snowing in Dallas ALL DAY.  They are saying it is the largest snow storm on record.  And I went to work in it.  If you know me you know that white stuff and ice stuff are not my driving friends.  I already decided I am keeping my old car when I get a new one just so I have something to drive in this weather just in case.  I freak all the time! The view from my office was very fun to see though.  I love being on the 8th floor to watch it.  It looked so peaceful and pretty.

Apparently the cat isn't a fan of the white stuff either.  I put her outside just to see what would happen.  I think this is the one time I have never worried about her running off.  I shut the door, counted to 5, opened the door and watched the wet fur ball fly through the door.  She didn't even put a little paw in the snow to see what the white stuff was.  She is NOT a cold weather cat.  I think she is still upset at me for that one.  I have caught her giving me the kitty death stare a few times tonight.  If you don't hear from me tomorrow, the cat did it.

Tomorrow is an at home day for me.  I have an event to plan, appointments to set, and some web pages to work on.  I hope I can get some of my school work done too.  I really need to start my simulation report and start working on a case study for my Ops class. Ah, just 10 more months.  I just have to keep saying that.

On top of the school work, I am going to try and do my weekend cleaning and menu tomorrow so that I can enjoy the weekend and do another freezer cook Sunday.

I was going to do a office snow picture but they came out kinda funky.  This was also on my phone as a picture.  Can you tell me how in the world it took a picture or rather saved a picture of this?? (yes I have a wonderful 1st gen iPhone...I'm cheap where my phone is concerned.  Why yes, that picture is one of my originals)  Strangeness.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10pm already?

I can't believe it is already 10pm!!  Time seems to be just running away lately. 

I know that I did stuff today but I just can't seem to piece it all together.  Work is finally starting to make sense to me.  For 5 years I was in a role where there was a definite time to do everything.  Now I am in a position where I basically call the shots on what I do and when I do it.  It was hard at first trying to adjust but I am getting there.  It is fun going from complete beginning to hopefully successful end.

I haven't been paying attention to my personal life again.  Writing tonight is the first step to that.  I am working on a menu for next week, catching up on school and getting the house picked back up. I need to do a Month in Review post for my 2010 goals.  The only reason I haven't is because my stupid girl issues put my weight loss in a weird place.  Nothing makes you feel like a loser (even it is beyond your control) than gaining 9 pounds in 2 days.  Yep, you read it right.  I worked hard in January to lose 6 pounds.  Within 2 days and no changes in diet or exercise made, I gained it all back and then some.  I know what it is but it just gets to you.  You have no idea how crappy it made me feel.

But I am getting over it and trying to just keep eating right and taking care of myself even if I don't actually lose pounds on the scale.  It just sucks at times.

Bed time for me!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Big Fat Sunday Fail

Well today didn't go quite as I had been hoping.  I am not sure why I thought it would go good.  I mean, I had to do  few things that just depressed me so I should have figured out it would take up my emotions during the day,

Today was my grandmother's birthday party  Yea, grandmother for being 8X years old!!  The sad part is that she has stage 4 bile duct cancer that is now causing blood clots some of which have cause mild strokes.  The doctors have said there is really nothing more they can do and the goal now is to just make her comfortable.  We were not too close for a large period of my adult life and not I am having the normal regrets and trying to make up for lost time.  Now every time I go up there the chances that it will be the last time always get greater.  So saying good bye was very hard.

Once I was done there, I drove an hour and a half to go to my boss' party. Someone who contributed a lot to my last 2 months of hell at my old job and who repeatedly stabbed me in the back was there. After the crap earlier I just wasn't up for dealing with this.  I walked out the back door, said good bye to no one and just left.  I IMed my boss and thanked him for the invite but that I was not going to be able to stay in that enviroment.  I ended up at Starbucks to study and take a test.  It was nice being able to just chill and try and forget. 

I was doing so well until my father called and decided I needed a lecture and to be told I needed to go back to the party.  I told him no lecture please and he proceeded to lecture me.  So I got a 10 minute lecture in Starbucks on my attitude and dealing with people from the one person who is the crabbiest and never goes to parties.  Needless to say I was not happy with my dad at the end of the call and I will not be talking to him for while.

Yes, I am passive aggressive at times and I am damn of it.

Now I have a relax pill on board and I am avoiding the Super Bowl and watching a movie I have been wanting to watch. Soon I will be transferring to bed and going to bed.

I also think I am going to freeze my eHarmony account.  I have 993 closed matches.  993 folks, that is a lot.  out of those I have had 2 good relationships that actually turned out shitty.  I'm not in a dating mood at the moment.  Why not?

I am once again missing something that every woman who is not trying to get pregnant has.  This for me usually is caused by stress and emotions.  It brings with it RAPID weight gain (think 8 pounds, 2 days), crazy emotions and swings.  You can see that this is not a condition that I want to be dating in. 

I am also continuing with the job search.  I am just not sure I am where I want to be.  I have told my boss a few times what I am interested in and what I want to eventually do and he doesn't seem to listen.  I want to learn about the markets and how to do the allocations and the trading.  He wants me to plan events (which I don't mind), be his assistant, have no client interactions, have me do the work and he takes the credit.  See, not sure what I want. 

Again, my hormones are in full effect. 

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Max Chillax

I am so far behind on my schoolwork and I should be staying up late tonight to try and catch up.  But nope, I did CRAP tonight and now I am sitting here writing and listening to a lotta bit of jazz. I am quite relaxed thank you very much.  It has taken me 2 months to relax this hard so why would I kill it with school work.  I promise myself I will keep the new awesome TV channels turned off tomorrow and kick it up in high gear and get this crap done.

Can it get any better!!   Yep, I am singing along and just smiling.  Amazing what a few days and a little bit of just getting stuff off my chest can do.  Oh sure there is still enough there to make a totally sane person go crazy but when you are pretty much crazy, it feels like a holiday.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Taking matters into my own hands

Minds out of the gutter!!!!

I have been in a funk, as is well documented, lately.  Well today I talked to my dad who is always in a funk.  I got so upset and frustrated.  Then it dawned on me that I have been that way too and and I need to snap out of it. 

So now I am getting out of it.  Sure, the guy who has had my number for 4 days hasn't called. Sure, I lost some of my stride on my weight loss, sure I haven't seen the freaking sun in what feels like forever.  I'm gonna get over it.

So I have stuck to my dinner plan!! I am craving something sweet and I am not really sure what I have that will help the Cheesecake Factory craving I seem to be having. 

I have to admit that right now I am watching The Bachelor and it is making me want to go to San Francisco!!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Weekly Menu

That whole Wednesday to Wednesday thing I was going to do?  Yea, not gonna happen.  I had to face the music that I was not and did not want to be that freakishly prepared person.  I owned up to the that fact that I am lazy, I procrastinate, and I work my ass off all day and don't want to come home and cook for 2 hours.  So instead I have been cooking ALL day today and have most of the food for next week done!  All I have to do is come home, reheat and eat.  Bonus, I will also be more likely to keep to the menu.  No more planting my self in front of the fridge with a fork and just eating whatever looks good.

Sunday:  Spicy Meatloaf (recipe here), mashed potatoes, and green peas.  I modified the recipe to make it with ground buffalo (yep, you read it right).  I realized that there was no red meat in the menu and well that's just not right! Already cooked and will freeze some of it.

Monday:  Grilled Tilapia and Polenta with salad. (recipe here)

Tuesday: BBQ Chicken and leftover polenta (recipe here). Cooking this Sunday night.

Wednesday: Shrimp Chili Cornbread Casserole.  Cooking as I type. will freeze part of it.

Thursday: Left over night

Friday: pizza!!  (recipe where else but Cooking Light, just don't remember the name.  It's in the October '09 issue)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Wanted: New Peeps

Let me preface this post by saying that I love my friends.  They are amazing and I couldn't get through life without them.  They rock my world.

That said, sometimes I feel out of sorts when I spend time around them in a group.  I am the token cynical, sarcastic single chick of the bunch.  We went today for dress fitting and lunch and I couldn't follow the conversation and my dirty little admission....I didn't care to!!!

Weddings, not a problem.  I love them I love looking at them and thinking about them but lately due to other things, I am not in the mood to think about them.  It is too close to "Make the single people uncomfortable" day for me to go there.  Then the lunch conversation, ovulation and baby making!  AAAHHH, what the crap I'm melting!!!!  That is about how I felt.  Nothing makes a girl who is unsure if she even wants little brats more ready to go rape the closest acceptable guy to procreate then thinking she is running out of time.  I don't think about kids, I don't stress over it...until someone reminds me I am getting closer and closer to 40.  No, I am not there by a long shot but when you start adding in the time to find someone, do the dating game, pop the question, plan a kick ass wedding and party, spend some time as a married couple, and then spend 9 months baking a poop machine, it adds up. Folks, we are talking 37 here.  I know I know, not a big deal...but it still gets to you. 

So how does all this fit with the title of this post?  I need a new peeps to add to the mix.  I need single, or already married people who are NOT building life on procreating and talking about procreating.  People who have lives outside of the burbs.  Must like to go experience new places and restaurants with groups of people.  Must be able to fit in with old peeps while not getting brainwashed. 

Rant over.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Fighting the Funk Round 2

It is imperative that I get a gym membership sooner rather than later. I am a wuss and hate to work out outside.  As a result I am in the house and getting back into a rather pissy mood. 

I need to get in a better mood period.  I can pinpoint my moods to 3 main things.  Unforutnately due to the nature of them, I can't write about them here so I can't get it out.  I know I need to get out the pen and paper and start writing.  That might be the next stop tonight. 

So in attempts to get me in a better mood, I shall post a few of the pretties I have found online today that I wish I could surround myself with.  Yes, because I am that damn vain right now.  :)

My kitchen could use a blue break with this lovely.
From: Sur La Table 

For my feet (these would so be in my closet if I had a steady check coming in)
Neiman Marcus

I could handle these as my Valentine; I mean at times shoes are better than a man right?  :)

A few weeks here would be just what I need to get over the funk.
Santorini, Image here

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Weekly Menu and other useless crap

A month of being good and I am craving junk.  Willpower has been good so far but it is getting harder and harder.   I think I am going to have to find a way to make junk food at the house to fix the craving.

I had to drive to hell today and the minute I headed that way, my body tensed up and my eye started twitching.  At first I thought the twitching was due to driving the boss' EXTREMELY expensive new car on 635 (never my favorite highway).  But the twitch didn't stop until we drove away.   I didn't realize how out of hell I was until he started talking about the latest gossip going on and I had no clue what he was talking about.  I just laughed and said not really interested in hearing about it. 

The dinner menu this week is something I am honestly not sure of.  It's my first week back to a normal routine and it is going to take a little more for me to stick with the program.  I'm making it easy to remember where the recipes are this time...I'm using just one cook book (minus the chicken which was from an early weekly menu and is  making a repeat for the freezer).  I also don't have much I need to get in terms of groceries so a lot of these recipes will have me buying the staples I am out of.

Wednesday:  Dinner at C's.
Thursday: Tuna melt and baked fries
Friday: Girl's night out
Saturday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes
Sunday: BBQ Chicken (to freeze)
Monday: Pork chops
Tuesday: Chilaquiles Casserole

Monday, January 25, 2010

Welcome to Funky Town

And no, we aren't talking the head bopping groovy thing. We are talking the junky funk. Sure, it was a good day all said, but I got in a funk last night and it stayed around today.

I didn't want to do my 3 miles today but I made myself and hated every minute of it. Strange since I usually love it.  Of course, I also have some pretty major things on my mind.  My grandmother has stage 4 bile duct cancer.  She has been having blood clots in her legs and mild strokes lately.  She is heading down hill fast (we are talking probably a week or so at the very most). So even though we aren't that close, it gets to me.  And it brings me back to when I lost my other grandmother.  At that time PK was in the picture and was there for me.  PK turned out to be an ass who has his own crazy ass baggage now.  It just brings back a whole bunch of hurt right now. 

On the bright side, it was good to be in an office today.  It was good to be around women in an office today. I am actually looking forward to going back tomorrow and getting some stuff done.  I am actually looking forward to being able to decorate a new office and make it my own.  More so, I am looking forward to taking a new job and making it my own.  New tasks, new hurdles to cross, new challenges to overcome and I am looking forward to it.

The best part about being in an office.....being able to wear my cute clothes again!!!  My boss actually said that I looked very nice today and professional.  The only issue I think I am going to run into is that I am going to run out of options.  I just have to make it one month and then I will be able to go and get a few more staples (more pants and skirts).  Hopefully by then I will be down a size too.  See I know it isn't the end of month post and I don't want to jinx myself but this month I have lost 7 pounds.  3 pound ahead of where I wanted to be.  I will be keeping this up and I really hope that the when I can go shopping again that I can take my clothes and get them altered and get new ones!  We shall see. 

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Left over Quiche

I made this quiche using up the leftover cooked veggies that were in the fridge. I also added up a little of the sausage that I was about to cut up and freeze.  It was a great meal that I honestly wasn't expecting it to be.  Add with a salad and I had a great dinner that is going to give me dinner and lunch for a few more days.

Kitchen Sink Quiche

Short cut - pre-made 9" deep dish pie crust, blinded baked

Basic starter filling:3 eggs
1 cup fat free evaporated milk
1 cut fat free milk
1/3 cup cheese (I used a block of pepper jack that needed to be used up)
nutmeg to taste
salt to taste
pepper to taste

Ideas to add:
I added fresh sauteed spinach, left over potatoes and carrots from my pot roast, sauteed onions, minced garlic, crumbled breakfast sausage.

Blind baked the pie crust.

1.  In a cast iron skillet, brown the sausage and crumble. Remove from pan and set aside.
2.  Add a small amount of olive oil to skillet and saute the onions and garlic till almost translucent.
3.  Add the potatoes and carrots to skillet and brown till heated through.
4.  In a medium bowl, mix eggs, evaporated milk, milk.  Add seasonings.  Shred cheese into wet mixture.
5. Once potatoes and carrots are heated through, remove them from skillet.  
6.  Add a little more olive oil to skillet if needed.  Add approximately 2 handfuls of fresh spinach to the skillet. Cook spinach till wilted.
7.  Add spinach to the bottom of the pie crust. Put the potatoes, carrots, and sausage on top.  Pour the wet mixture on top. (DO NOT OVER FILL) I put a cookie sheet underneath to catch the overflow.  I also used my small ramekins to cook the extra wet mixture.
8.  Cook quiche on 325 degrees till done.

This ended up being really good.  I am using the little ramekins servings as lunch this week with a salad. 

Sunday FAIL

All grand plans failed today.  I ended up taking a small nap instead of being productive.  I guess when you have to sleep you have to sleep. 

Quiche is cooling and I am honestly not sure if it is going to be edible.  At least I used most of the leftovers in it so if it isn't edible I didn't waste much food.  Update:  It was good!!  I'll do a separate post for the recipe.  Yummy and it will probably be what I eat until I head to the store on Wednesday.

Clothes and accessories are ready for work tomorrow, bag, lunch and other office stuff are about ready to go.  I guess we will see what is to transpire tomorrow.  I am going to go into it with an open mind and just see what happens.  If anything I have a few things I can do.  I only plan on being there from 9-4. 

So much to do this week!  I have gotten the calendar and the to do list set up and I m ready to rock!!

Simple Sunday

After a slight fall on me face yesterday in terms of attitude and goals, I decided it pick my self up and get back in the game. 

I'm getting the house picked up today, going for my 3 miles in a few hours, getting back on the study wagon and getting ready to go to a real office tomorrow!!  I am working up a new quiche recipe in my head and I am going to be trying that out later tonight.  If all goes well I will try and remember to take pictures and post it later tonight.

I am also going to hold off on my menu until Tuesday night. The store circulars come out on Tuesday night and I have started to use those to decide what I am making.  Yet another way I am trying to save a little money here and there.

I think once I do all of that I will curl up in my chair tonight and watch a few episodes of West Wing and relax!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Brownie Binge

Thank you Ina Garten for giving me a recipe that would allow me to satisfy the PMS/stress chocolate urge.  I  started with the brownie pudding recipe and didn't cook it in the water bath and then let it cook longer and it turned into a yummy brownie.  Had I known it was going to work I would have thrown some walnuts in for crunch but it was still perfect for the craving.  It was also good to cook it tonight so I can take it to the parentals tomorrow and get it out of the house. 

I had an interesting talk with my mother today and found out some interesting things.  Turns out when The Boy moved, that really thought I would be moving up there and were talking about actually moving to be closer to us.  I was told today that if I moved anywhere they would more than likely move up closer to me within a year or two. Some would be upset about that but I was actually happy about it.  It made me feel like my safety net would be with me wherever I go.  So yes, I am actively looking for jobs up where The Boy is....not to be with him but because even before I met him, I dreamed of moving up there and working.  It has been a dream since I was in middle school.

Ok, I still have writer's block and I am just not into writing today.  I really need to get back into my creative writing roots and work on better posts.  But tonight, I think I will finish watching TV and head to bed early. 

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Deep Thoughts by someone who needs sleep and chocolate

What do you do when you come to the realization that the career you thought you had and what you thought you were working towards isn't?

I know that it is just the monthly hormones, or I hope it is, that are making me think this but damn. 

Ok, PMS is apparently going to kick my ass this month.  I have the already raided the super secret sugar drink stash of Jones Root Beer. I'm craving something like this.

Classic signs.  Now if I could just learn how to handle the signs them I would be good to go.  I guess I did good today and did my 3 miles, ate good so I guess I am due it a little. 

Is it sad when making a list is going to be what cheers me up?  That and taking a hot shower and jumping in bed to read a good book.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I love her but damn if I want to be her

Just got off the phone with maternal unit.  DAMN, that woman drives me up the wall. 

You know there are some people who just love to hear themselves talk...well she probably heads up that fan club.  She is hilarious!  Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, OK bye.  She talks and talk and then ok, gotta go bye. 

She also sucks at the guilt trip; either that or maybe I am just a self centered daughter who could give a shit and doesn't want to drive 45 minutes away to fix a computer just because she has a 11-3 lunch and it makes it hard for her.  I just can't see doing that and cutting into my day of Food Network, sleep, working out, and laundry.   In all seriousness, I have a shit ton of school work to do and need to get cracking on those 6 job contacts this week. 

I had another day of being domestic.  I must say, when I become gainfully employed again I am going to miss running my errands during the middle of the day.  It is nice not being hurried at the grocery store, being able to take my clothes to the cleaners and not HAVE TO pick them up the same day. 

However, in employed's corner, it will be nice to be able to have discretionary funds again.  I desperately need a hair cut and a pedicure.  I also would like to get a gym membership so I can start working out on my non-run days and mix it up a little. 

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Happy Tuesday!

What a great day.  It was another window open day and I got one more room knocked out.  I just finished dinner (I am changing up the menu to different days but still cooking what is on there), and sitting in my chair enjoying the breeze coming in the window.

I ended up doing 3 miles today (walk/run) and it felt great.  I ate good all day and really it was a no drama boring day.   I wish I could afford a gym membership right now.  I need to find something to do on my off days.  I guess I will pull out the DVDs and do those to get started. 

Tomorrow should be a little better since I need to run errands and do the weekly store run.

Damn, I hate having writer's block! 

Monday, January 18, 2010

What Make the dysfunctional fun

So the last post was way serious.  I thought it might be good to list some of the lighter things about me.

-  I have a thing for the color purple.  No, not the movie, the color.  The crazy thing is I never thought I did.  If you ask me I will tell you I don't really like it. Yea, I am lying to myself I love it and it's as close to pink as I will get.

-  I cuss my cat in German yet I really don't know German.  No seems to be the word we use most in this house so one night I sat here and said no to her in every language I could think of until she responded...German it was!

-  Speaking of cussing, I cuss like a sailor, a really good sailor too. :)

-  My Texas accent is proportionate to the amount of alcohol I consume.  The more I drink the more it comes out.

-  I don't eat artificial sweeteners.  For the longest I was a Diet Coke junkie and then I decided to go cold turkey.  Let me just say DAMN it's like coming off of crack.  But I have been clean for a while and now if I eat anything that has it in it I can taste it and it is nasty.  The hardest part was not drinking my Starbucks without it.  Yea I know I can use full sugar and all that but.....

-  If artificial sweeteners are like crack then sugar is like speed and thus I REALLY limit the amount of processed sugar I eat.  Oh you knew it was coming.  I try to eat as clean as possible.  Agave nectar, honey, succant, and all that new age BS.  I know it seems stupid but I actually can tell a difference.  Notice thought I said TRY.  I still crave sweets like no ones business but I try to stay good as long as possible and then binge once a month.  Donuts are ALWAYS off limits.

-  I am not a good house keeper.  My house isn't like Hoarder's bad, in fact it is relatively clean but it is hard for me to do it.

-  I love to dress up but I love my sweats and pjs too.  If I am at home, I am in  the slob gear.

-  I have a growing collection on Chucks aka Converse.  But only lo-tops. I used to wear them to work when I worked a job that I could wear jeans to.  Now I keep them out of the office and only for the weekends.  Oh, growing up is a bitch!

-  I am not in love with Sex in the City.  I never had cable when it was on so I never watched it.  I have watched a few episodes and the movie but I just never flipped over it.

-  I have no pictures in my house up.  I even have an empty frame sitting on my coffee table! 

-  I might not like shopping too much but I LOVE surfing online for clothes...I could probably get to enjoy shopping but I am scared I will like it too much.

What makes the dysfunctional functional or more about me.

You know those little boxes where you are asked to describe yourself or write about yourself?  Well they scare the holy terror out of me.  Not because I have so much to say about myself and a little box just doesn’t do it justice.  More because I have no idea what to say about myself; dare I say I had no idea who I was?

It felt like for the better part of my life, I was trying to find myself while I was living in a world where everyone knew who they were and what they wanted.  Thinking that only made me more clueless and thinking that I should have a definitive statement on who I was.  Every day without this knowing who I was seemed to make me feel less and less like a valued member of society.

Granted, I didn’t sit in a chair for all this time and ponder this thought.  I had a life to lead, responsibilities to handle, expectations to meet, you know, the things that we fill our days with.  In my “adult” life, I got married, I got divorced, I had 3 more long term relationships, 3 more not so pretty break ups, lost 2 amazing grand parents, had 5 jobs, 3 change of addresses, 4 cars, 2 cats, and 1 dog.  I smoked, stopped, started, stopped, started, stopped, started, and stopped. I went from 115 pounds to close to 200 and then lost some, gained some, lost some again.   I went from wondering how I was going to make rent to feeling like I could buy anything I wanted to wondering if I had saved enough for the rainy day fund everyone talks about.  You could say I lived life and took care of what I needed to do.

A funny thing happened in this living life.  All the time I was bemoaning myself for not knowing who I was, I was finding myself.  I had to realize that the person I was might not be who everyone else was and that was ok.

In a nutshell I am a contradiction.  I honestly think more people are contradictions than they lead you to believe.

I love music.  It makes me happy.  I love creating music and I love listening to it. I like classical, jazz, classic rock, oldies, 80’s hair bands, 90’s grunge and alternative, some current harder rock and alternative, some 90’s country, selected soul.  I do not like rap, hip-hop, techno, teeny bopper music, main stream hits of today, fake rock of today. I like going to the symphony but I am scared to go alone so I rarely go.  I keep telling myself to just go and one day soon I hope to get up the courage to do it. One of the best dates I ever had was when someone took me to the symphony as a treat.

I like photography.  I like to take pictures but not of people, especially people I know.  I prefer to take pictures of nature and objects.  I like the use of shadow and color.  I like to look at pictures that make me feel calm and relaxed.  As much as I like pictures, I have none in my house.  None of me, none that I have taken, I have nothing.  I blame it on being lazy and scared to put anything up.

While on the lazy and scared thing, I have to say I am extremely lazy and let my fears get in the way of doing a lot.   I am not really sure it is pure lazy as opposed to being scared to start something and not being able to do it perfect.  Yes, I am a lazy scared perfectionist.  That is a hard combination to be.  I am trying to lose all of them but mostly the scared part. My fears keep me out of a lot of things.  I am scared I am going to make a fool of myself and everyone will look down on me.  I am scared I will say the wrong thing and everyone remembers, I am scared I will make people unhappy or mad, I am scared no one likes me, I am scared of what people think.  I also have a tendency to remember everything stupid, wrong, bad, or embarrassing that I do and I relive it over and over in my head.  I am scared probably more of me replaying things and feeling bad as I am of what other people think. 

I like to cook.  I can get lost in cooking and making up new recipes.  I have a hard time cooking when it is just me but I am learning to freeze and reuse.  Baking is something I am not as good at but I am trying.  I usually only really bake in the winter months however I might try to find some lighter baking things for the summer months.  I also try to cook without the use of processed sugars.  Not as easy as it seems but very well worth it.

I hate to shop but love clothes and accessories.  Probably more it is the money and weight thing than anything for why I don’t like to shop.  But, I am learning to enjoy it more, it just costs me money because I have learned the value of timeless pieces even if they cost. I loathe places like TJ Maxx and Marshalls.  I honestly don’t like Macys that much either.  Stores that feel crowded overwhelm me and it is too much.  If I have to do major shopping, which I do about twice a year, I always use personal shoppers.  It is just easier for me.

Why is it easier for me?  For the same reason you NEVER see a picture of me taken of anything below the collar bone.  I am a lot too well endowed and it really frustrates me.  I am so ready to get rid of them I just have to figure out how insurance will pay for it.  Let’s put it this way, I am not overweight, I am 5’8”, I wear a size 14 which I feel is completely normal.  I wear a 38G.  It bites.  It makes me feel fatter than I am and I think it is all anyone looks at. 

I am not athletic and have never been.  Hand to eye coordination with me does not exist.  You have seen the shows of the spaz who has a ball thrown at him and then after it hits him, he puts his hands up to catch it, that’s me.  I am really trying to be better.  I push myself out of my comfort zone to try new things that involve some athletic ability.  I am more excited about getting into running.  I have tried and had a few missteps but this time it feels better.

I am sure this “About Me” post is a work in progress just like I feel we are all works in progress who evolve all the time.  At least this is start of trying to explain myself and who I am. 

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Weekly Menu

The goal of this week is to try out a few more recipes that will allow me to create a few meals out of one cooking.  I have a feeling life is going to get a little more crazy in the coming weeks but I still need to keep cooking and eating at home (4 pounds down this month just by cooking at home!) . Everything I cook this week I am going to try to freeze some so I have it ready to go. I am also going to try something new and cook out of only 1 or 2 of my magazines and cookbooks.  Time to try out something new.

Sunday:  Girls Dinner - Cheese!!  I am bringing Fried Cheese with a few modifications from the recipe. I will post when I finish.

Monday: Spaghetti with homemade sauce - Healthy Cooking, Dec/Jan 2010, p. 47

Tuesday: Crock Pot "Brisket" w/venison (freeze left overs)

Wednesday:  Roast Chicken  - Cooking Light, Jan/Feb 2010, p.180 (use new potatoes and carrots instead of squash)

Thursday: Mediterranean pasta w/shrimp and scallops - Healthy Cooking, Dec/Jan 2010 p. 64

Friday: Vegetable soup (WW 0 point soup - getting ready for getting back to work and thinking I should keep some on hand at the office)

Saturday: Enchilada Lasagna - Healthy Cooking, Dec/Jan 2010 p. 48 (freeze half of the recipe)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Interview outcome

Well the coffee date has come and gone.  Verdict....NEXT. 

I went into it with preconceived notions of how this guy would be and my notions did not disappoint. While I do believe that going into a situation thinking it will be bad only makes it come out bad, I promise I went into this with an open mind. 

There are things that are taboo on a first date.  Subjects such as religion, political views, feelings on children, and exes.  However, all of those subject were broached on this date and I was not the one to bring them up.  Needless to say we had VERY different viewpoints.  There were a few times I actually wanted to yell at him and tell him that he was selfish, ignorant, and I thought he was debating just to debate and take the other side of the argument.  There were times I wanted to just walk out.  It lasted a whole hour and a half and it felt like 3.  Funny, I apparently had my fill of the BS of debate for the sake of debate with The Boy and didn't even want to put up with it this time around.  I must have learned with him how to spot someone who is self centered and just like to hear himself debate just to debate.  Yea, not willingly going there again.

As much as I hate to say this, I am starting to really wonder if now guys who are 32+ who have no kids and who have never been married have some inherent flaw. Everyone of them I have dated I can definitely tell why they are still single.  Oh, I know that some of them are normal and probably have just been focused on career and whatnot but I have yet to find them.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Ask and you shall recieve

I got jolted out of my sleep by the door bells ringing.  Yes, plural.  The builders of my house decided it would be fun to put two doorbells in just for shits and grins since one is integrated with the intercom. 

I almost did not answer but they kept pestering.  I threw on my cutest mismatched shirt and PJ bottoms and ran to the door.  I ALMOST missed my laptop delivery!!  My baby is back and all is well with the world.

In other news, I went with the girls today to look for veils for my friends wedding. Let me tell you, I could have tried on every dress in that store.  OMG!!!  I seriously am in major wedding envy now.  Think my MBA would translate well into being a bridal consultant? 

Date tomorrow afternoon.  No surprise, the coffee date.  The coffee date is like the pre-date date; the interview to see if you measure up to get the date event.  I have some studying to do so I actually might get there early just to try and get some studying in.  What can I say, I like to be the first there so they walk onto my turf.  I do that at work as well.  Must be a character trait.  

Like the new layout?  I am still tweaking it but it's getting there.

I miss my baby

I really miss my Air.  I hope it comes back soon.  My spare craptop just isn't helping me feel creative.

Have I mentioned lately how much dating and I do not get along?  I had a pretty good conversation with a guy tonight and we made plans to meet up Saturday.  But there were things he said that I just didn't agree with.  While I know that no one ever agrees on all of the same things, what things should you agree on?  And I know I am talking about as things progress. When is it a deal breaker if you have different views on money, family, and decorating (yes, I have had someone tell me that nice furniture was a waste and hand me downs were just fine...yea when I was in college!)  Oh well, I guess it is good to know that I am still learning.

Well I figure that a date on Saturday calls for a splurge of a hair cut.  I worked a day from my mom so that money should cover the hair cut.  It should make me feel a little better about myself right now as well. As long as they don't screw it up! I just wish I had a better pair of blue jeans.  Oh well,I can make do with the ones I have and if there is a second date, then that one is after work and no jeans. :) 

These are growing on me....

Maybe the fact that it is the Stephie pump is a good reason.   It just looks like a shoe that would be good in my collection...especially since I did the unthinkable and got rid of some of the collection. 

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


I am such a dork!!!  All it took to get me in a good mood was a check list on my dry erase board of things I needed to get gone.  I will admit I lived the last 5 years of my work life with a daily check list and I was having withdrawals.

I ended up at the grocery store and price shopped my little butt off today baby.  I stalked the aisles looking for good food for me on the cheap.  If you know me I am a complete foody.  I can spend on my own easily over $100 a week on food just because it looks good.  So to have to put my self on a $100 a MONTH budget and you can see where my challenge is.  But I found the deals and proudly walked up to the cashier and watched the screen like a hawk.  Of course, the cashier missed my main sales item and actually looked offended when I called her out on it!  I am sorry lady, did you not see that everything in my cart rang up as some sort of special price, sure I you think that I shouldn't be bitching because my total food bill was $28.  but damnit, I know it should be $22 and I need that six bucks for my cheese dish on Sunday.

So, I saved money, handled conflict without crying like a baby, cooked dinner, went for a 45 minute walk/jog, successfully flirted with a new interest, and kept my temper all day.  I am also working on my 2nd book this month so that is a good thing as well.

And tomorrow I can dress up!!  I have a business appointment.  Woohoo!!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Resolution FAIL

Safe to say that today was not the best of days.  I think I am getting a bit of the unemployment blues.  I am not going to go as far as to say that I miss the office that I got out of but I am going to say I am starting to miss my life.

I actually get to get out of the house run errands.  I have to pick up the dry cleaning of clothes I not longer get to wear because I am unemployed.Oh sure I can wear my work clothes I guess but really, how practical is it to wear a cute dress and heels around the house.  When I start getting that dressed up to go get the mail, some one needs to shoot me.  I miss going out to lunch, going out for drinks, shopping, my life.

One good thing in this craptastic life I currently lead is that I am so ahead on my school work it isn't even funny.  If they would open up all the modules, I would be finished by the end of the month.  Oh god I need a life!!!!! 

I keep telling myself that I am making the choice to not spend money, to be practical and watch my expenses.  I shouldn't be mad at anyone because I am making the choice.  The girl saying that in my head usually has the shit kicked out of her by the girl yelling at everyone around me who doesn't have to worry about money right now and who can't understand why I can't just pop down the tollway (beginning to end and back) each day to just hang out.  Seriously!!  The gas and toll would kill me if I did that every day. She is beating up the people who screwed her out of her year of vacation pay she had saved up (oh yea, they did hence the reason I am very bitter). She is crying because she is worried that she is going to have to dip into her savings to live and will be losing a lot of what she worked for these past few years.  She is crying because she wants to go out to lunch and out at night with her friends but knows that it is either going out or mortgage.  She is crying because she knows she has her friend's wedding in a few months and isn't really sure she can afford to go to that as well as can't afford to go to Boston in March with her family when she has been wanting to go back for 18 years. She is yelling at people who think that because she doesn't have a job she should just be able to run errands, do odd jobs, and literally have asked her if she wants to be their maid to make extra money (hello, since when did my life become the story line to "Other People's Money").   That girl just needs a drink. 

Damn, I have to get out of this funk.  I can't believe I just wrote all of that.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Weekly Menu

Without my laptop, I have been off my blogging game for the last few days.   I haven't wanted to come and sit in my office and blog at nights like I should. But today I decided I couldn't live like a college kid on semester break anymore.  It worked great that my class actually began today as well!  I am doing my must do work at set times during the day and not laying around watching TV minus Food Network (I completely screwed myself on  my last post....only that network has been out since Friday...karma always kicks my ass). Hopefully this will also help me not get behind in school.

Anyhoo, without further ado (I really wish I could continue this train of thought in the style of Seuss), time to figure out what the heck I am eating this week!

Monday - yummy leftovers
Tuesday - tamales with beans and rice
Wednesday - veggie burger and roasted potatoes
Thursday - broccoli beef
Friday - Chicken with Lemon Mushroom sauce and salad
Saturday - BBQ chicken with roasted potatoes and salad
Sunday - NO CLUE!!  Dinner party to go to and I have to bring something using cheese.  The possibilities are endless but I am overwhelmed with choices.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The best way to break a bad mood...

Is to turn everything off.  I called the parentals tonight and instead of getting a break I got told how I just need to get over it.  No shit Sherlock.  Like I don't know that.  I didn't need a lecture on how my mood needs to improve. I promise you that doesn't make it automajically get better.  If anything it pisses me off more.  As a result, I turned off my phone, turned off my messenger, and I am about to turn off my computer.  I am going to turn off the TV, get ready for bed, hop in a read a book and escape to somewhere else. 

No alarm clocks tomorrow, no dealing with my phone ringing and waking me up, and no dealing with anything annoying.  The only thing I have to do tomorrow is pick up a loaner computer, turn mine in, and go splurge on a new book. 

Good night all, until I decide to rejoin society.

Losing my mind

I am seriously losing my mind.  I think being stuck in this freaking house and is about to make me tear out my hair.   I am going stir crazy and I don't want to do anything that I should be doing.  I have slept all I can, it is too cold to get out and do anything, and I am just getting pissy.  I need to snap out of this mood and just move on.  I say today is a resolution FAIL.  My phone rang at 7:30 and woke me up so I started the day cussing.  The only productive thing I did was clean off my computer so I could turn it in and get it fixed.  I still haven't figured out what I am going to do without a computer.  Honestly, I should probably enjoy the break.  In the back of my mind I know what is wrong and I am just not ready to face it yet, but let's just say that the next few weeks will probably not be easy on me and my family.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Thanks Food Network for screwing me

Let me start of with saying I love cooking.  Something about being able to get out a super sharp knife and whack at innocent food just screams stress relief to me.  That and the super amazing things that come out of the kitchen soothe me in my craziest of day (as witnessed by the growth of my butt during super stress times). 

Today has been the day of errands I tried to run but couldn't.  All I did successfully was take in my dry cleaning and finally take my November expense check to the bank.  I had 5 things I got out to do today all so I could stay home tomorrow and curl up and do nothing.  It looks like I will be out and about tomorrow.  Boo!!

First errand was taking my baby to the Apple store since I might have popped the lid partially off this morning. Word to the wise, hearing your Air make a cracking sound it is NEVER a good thing.  Off I trecked to Willow Bend only to be told good new/bad news.  Good can be fixed and it MIGHT not cost you anything.  Bad new, we have to send it out to be fixed.  Wait, you gotta do what!!  I have 3 years worth of important data on here.  Ok, so maybe just a little bit of important data and more really embarrassing pictures.  Great. Since I need to clean off somethings and do have some things I need to do today on my computer, I have to go back tomorrow to let them send it in.  Double great. I just hope my old HP still works or that I can borrow one of the numerous laptops my friend has.

Off I go to Home Depot to get faucet covers for the outside faucets.  I know, I am great at advanced planning. They are out and I went ahead and assumed if they were out, everyone around suburbia would be out. Time to do some redneck engineering in the neighborhood. Sorry HOA if I mess up the pretty community (wait the porta potty down the street at the construction site kinds screws that one). So I am going to be wrapping them in towels and covering that with trash bags and duct tape. 

Finally, I head to the grocery store to stock up on food so I don't starve to death. Sunday dinner with the parentals is a family recipe that just happens to use ham hocks to flavor the dumpling juice.  I have NEVER had a problem finding this.  It is an ugly scary piece of meat/fat that always seems to be hanging around.  Yea, granted I live in the South but I also live in the burbs where there was a time I couldn't find couscous but could find every type of peanut butter you could imagine. Turns out, everyone got ham hocks to put in beans and it is a low priority to reorder.  So thanks Food Network for showcasing how to use this hunk of meat and for putting these recipes on your website so everyone can try them out.  Now, I have to get out hunt this thing down.  No sleeping in enjoying the heater tomorrow for me.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Lazy Daisy

As the weather gets colder I am getting lazier and lazier.  My brain must be getting cold to because I am having a total writer's block. 

I have to get off my ass and start doing SOMETHING this week!  I completely have been slacking on getting rid of crap at the house so now I can't claim that it is trashed because I am cleaning out for the new it is just trashed.   Hmmm, thinking....  EUREKA!!  I need some happy hour fuel to get me going.  A night out with friends laughing my ass off and drinking will always get me moving. 

It happy news, I never have to set foot in hell again (Ok, well the office hell that is). I dropped off my keys, got my check and gave them the big F you.  Well, maybe I just wish I would have given them the big F you but a girl can dream.  They tried to pick my brain more on how to actually run the business and I just gave them a look like they had to be kidding and walked out.  All I can say now is NEXT!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Purge Day 2

2009 tried to come back in and I had a heck of a time shutting it out.  But I did and I am damn proud of that. 

Today I decided to work on my office and get it cleaned up so I could start working in it and doing my schoolwork in there again.  The end result was even more stuff to give away and a full recycling bin.   Yea for the environment, crap for me and the fact that it won't be emptied again until Friday.  I wish I lived in a suburbia where neighbors talked to each other.  If I did maybe I could see if the people next door who never recycle would let me borrow their bin.  Instead I am going to have to cram as much as I can in and push it down.  Once it is 110% full, it is going to have to go into more bags to put in the bin after it is empty.

Ah, you say I am getting overly pessimistic in the amount of stuff I am getting rid of and I might not have that more left?  NOPE. I still haven't finished the office, the guest bedroom, the hall linen closet, the coat closet, the laundry room, the kitchen, and more in my bedroom. Oops, almost forgot, the mountains of my stuff I had at the office that is now in my front hall and garage that much be gone through ASAP.  Once that is done then I will khow where I start on getting stuff in the house that I actually like.

I have been following my goals and my new budget and have not spent a dime all weekend.  Even when I was craving fajitas, I didn't do it because it wasn't in my budget. I guess I have to add that on to the parents part of the weekly dinner or I need to find a recipe.

Wow, without the puppies here, I am getting tired! 

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Weekly Menu

This week will be the first week of my new schedule for this month. It will also be my first week on my new budget. Monday finish my contract assignment and be done once and for all with old job, Tuesday and Wednesday do some work for my mom, Thursday and Friday work on my certification exam studying. In the afternoons, keep working on the house.

Sunday...dinner at the parentals eye peas, salad and corn bread
Tuesday...Pork chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans (third times a charm!)
Wednesday...tamales, rice, and black beans
Thursday...Pork chops and salad and salad
Saturday...tomato soup and grilled cheese

Purge Day One

Why does it always seem like when you are trying to get your life clean and organized, it just gets messier?

There are currently 11 bags of clothes, a coffee table, a chair, an end table (soon to be two), 2 boxes, and a bird cage sitting in my empty dining room. Trash day was yesterday but I already have a trash cart two-thirds full. There is a bag of stuff I have borrowed from my parents that I am sending back as well. I literally might have to sleep on the couch tonight because my bed is covered with clothes and stuff to go through.

The rewards of my efforts you ask? All cabinets and closets in my bedroom and master bath are cleaned out and look great. I know I have done a ton of work today but I just can't see it right now. When it all gets done (projected for the middle of the month...yes I am cleaning that thoroughly) it will be amazing and I can finally start trying to get this place decorated and feeling like my own.

As a side note, I am pretty dorky but it made me squeal like a little girl when I saw one of my dresses on the mannequin on a commercial for What Not to Wear. Don't worry the dress was a what to wear example. Now of course I have to start watching again to see how they accessorized it!

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010 Goals

Since 2009 sucked so bad, I am going to try to set some goals for 2010. 12 goals in 12 months. Now, this doesn’t mean I will have a goal for each month, it just means that by this time next year I hope to have all of these goals done. This will give me something personal to work on and not just get wrapped up in my next job like I did the last one.

1. Read 24 non school books in 2010. This breaks down to 2 books a month or a book every two weeks. I need to remember to take time each day for myself and reading will help me get back into that. I might read books to help me with work, to help me with networking, or just a trashy romance or chick lit book, but I will read more than school books.

2. Cook more. I plan on creating a menu each week (and following it) and including one new recipe each week. This doesn’t mean that I am only going to cook one new thing a week, but I am going to try a new special recipe each week. This is also going to help me plan my week and stick with my general weekly plan. Once a month I am going to attempt a recipe from my Greek cook book.

3. Clean and keep the house clean. I am NOT a neat person by nature. Cleaning does not provide me with the Zen that some people get. Case in point, my parents both worked a ton of hours had a weekly housekeeper to clean the house and my room was the room that she skipped over. Not because my parents told her to but because it was just that bad. So it is time to be an adult and keep it clean.

4. Network, network, network. Being the introvert that I am, this is a biggie for me. This is really a needed item since my new role is now encompassing marketing and ultimately getting new clients. YIKES! Any suggestions on how to do this would be greatly appreciated.

5. Practice my creative projects more. I will start working on my photography more. I would also like to start getting some of them processed so I can hang them in the house. I also am going to make a conscious effort to start writing again and putting more thoughts into my written word off of the blog and on. This will also help me with my stress level as I start a new job.

6. Finally make the house feel like a home. I have lived here for almost 3 years and I have nothing on the walls, no decorations out to speak of. Nothing is organized and I don’t’ feel 100% happy in my house.

7. Run. I keep letting this one slide and I am tired of no being able to just get out there and start. I am going to do the couch to 5k program and sign up for a 5k within the first 6 months of the year.

8. Become an adult in terms on my health. This is a pretty big one. I need to lost XX number of pounds. Not just for my physical health by for my mental health as well. Being the analytical person I am, I figured out that I will have to lose X pounds each week of the year an exactly how many calories that was. Talk about breaking it down into easier steps. I also need to make a few Dr. appointments I have put off mainly because I am a wuss when it comes to pain.

9. Be a better daughter. I know that my dad misses me and does better when I am around. My family has never had any real traditions, but I am instituting Sunday dinner as a family tradition. Whether it is at my house or theirs. I want to get together every Sunday for dinner and catching up.

10. Graduate. Focus on school so I can get out by December 2010 so I can focus on other things in my life (JL, travel, etc.).

11. Be happy. I am known for being the moody pessimist and let things get to me. Not anymore. I am going to wake up each day with a smile and see how far it gets me.

12. Give back. I do donate through the year, but I think that you can’t just give money and think you have done your part.