Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday Fail...But Not.

So I did not make it to the gym yesterday.  However, I did make it to my therapist.  I will now fully admit that.  The brain workout and the talking about what is going on helps so much and I know it will ultimately help my gym time.

Sharing time...

I have lived with depression most of my life. A lot of that time it has been considered severe.  About 5 years ago, I decided I needed to get help because I couldn't keep living the way I was.  Over the past 5 years, I have learned a lot about myself and how to combat the issues that bring about a bad episode.  Lately, I got overwhelmed and slipped back into the hole so to speak.  It has been effecting my health, my attitude with my friends and family, my attitude toward myself, and my working out.  Yesterday, I went and started back on the path to get back in control and I feel better about my outlook.  I know I won't be back to "normal" for a while but now I can start working on getting there instead of beating myself up for getting away from there.

Depression is something that never truly goes away in my opinion.  Others might say you can cure it, I say you can learn the what triggers it and learn behaviors to keep it at bay.  But you can never let your guard down.  You have to really learn yourself and be aware of what is going on around you.  To me it is kind of like working out.  I learn what works for me and what doesn't.  I always learn new things to try and add to my arsenal of things to help me get better.  If anything, I feel lucky to be able to experience the side I called hell and the good side.  I found out what makes me tick, how I respond to my environment, what I will tolerate in my life and what I won't all for the sake of me.  I believe that it takes a strong person to learn that much about themselves (the good and the bad).  Throughout this journey I have become such a stronger person.  Some people in my life have told me I have always been a strong person and while that might be true, it is only when I can see my growth, my determination, and my attitude change that I realize it. 

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